welmcoe.

welcome** to the blog entry of sunday the twenty fourth of march 2024.

here’s what happened:

  • went to a birthday party
  • had a hard night
  • we broke up
  • went over the next day
  • hung out all weekend and it was nice
  • the documents were not printed

spent most of the week trying to write music but instead writing code. took a couple days off to mope around. ramadan honeymoon.

it’s good. good chats, bad tv. things are easier this way. made some nice food, good omelettes, something with paneer. getting my toenails clipped now which my socks will like.

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further.

pray for us sinners, now and in the hour of our deaths

hey! happy birthday! it’s everyone’s birthday isn’t it

i went out for birthday dinner with becky avery on tuesday because it was both of our birthdays. we went to colonel saab and ate a thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat. pulses, rice, so tasty vegetable.

zoozoo stayed the weekend.

zoo woke up and said “i’m going to beat up a 3-eyed dog”

i made this

and this

and this

and this

and a tasty curry

and some eggs

spring is here, very here, and i’m building everything. okay i’m gonna go eat a lil more curry and yoghurt and then build a little more and boil some eggs and go to sleep until fajr

i have no memory of it.

did not really go outside! ate a lot of fishies, indoor fishies. didn’t really see anyone. seeing becky on tuesday though, that’s exciting.

i’ve been mostly working. and making music with the Synthstrom Deluge. and writing code for making kits on the Synthstrom Deluge. and reading the source code of the Synthstrom Deluge. and reading the manual of the Synthstrom Deluge. and also reading the aiff and .wav specs and looking at bytes in hex editors and reading and writing binary files in the browser which was fun.

i’ve made this pretty little website for making kits for it.

my apartment is so tidy now thanks to zoozoo. we spent two days tidying it and drinking pepsi and monsters.

i got a very sweet birthday card.

yes it’s been a light week. but a bright week. the cherry blossom in view from my daytime window is in bloom again, spring is here with all its promise of merriment and cheer. i love merriment.

good night. sleep tight. bite the bed bugs back

well, quite a week. i was electrocuted, i woke up in a wood pile, lost and found, + it was my birthday.

i’d like to apologize for the poor material last week, the entry was as damaged and poor as i was drunk and damaged. i fell right on my back that night like a slapstick actor, the world turned black and white for a moment and there were title cards and bruises and scratches on both sides. i ate a big fish, too. but it didn’t satisfy my hunger for a big fish. big fish shaped big hole in my big belly remains.

Monday was a day of rest. i spent all of it sleeping in various top living room spots. On my back on the floor with my legs up on the couch was the most rewarding by rest. Tuesday we got ingredients and cooked a nice meal. Then we hit the Witch’s Ball, a bar that’s been open since the 1400s and serves the same regulars. We had jägereggers. It’s like a jägerbomb but the red bull’s subbed out for a pickled egg. pickled jaegg. awful. drank 2 of them. zaina ate a dog biscuit and locked me out of the house. i got lost trying to find the back door and climbed up something tall and thought “if i slip from here i might well die” but i don’t remember anything about it. i don’t remember getting home but eventually i did, i understand i’d been unkind in my wet and frozen drunkenness and haven’t drank since except the next day.

Wednesday good enough, uncertain, peaceful, good yes good. We get a big fish at the Coast. It was lovely, Hake. Prepared very well, but i still have a hankering. I drink two beers there and then we stop by the Top House Inn and Ethan informs me i’d been discovered out the back in a woodpile. I don’t finish the drink there, we go home and we watch television until it’s bed time.

Thursday I watch American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders and I make a kind of chili kind of thing with rice and then we go on a walk to Kynance Cove which is truly beautiful. And muddy. Truly muddy. A man with a dog says “right on” and we stomp through mud and pony shit. I’m wearing slip-ons. I have waterproof boots back in the apartment. Why I didn’t wear those?

So we go down by the water where it’s incredibly beautiful and we go for a walk in the hills up wooden stairs and stairs of stone and climb over little fences and follow yellow arrows with little acorns on them as best we can. but sometimes the arrows are pointing at each other or contradicting one another. Pointing at the sky or sea. We come to a clearing with no exit, mud and hard bush and nettles in every direction. My feet are caked, so are Zaina’s socks and sneakers. We turn back, it’s somehow muddier now.

There’s so much mud in the middle of it. I get up on the other side of the cleft and with meticulous precision i place heel after toe, heel after toe until i’m far enough along to rest my hand on the hard bush with its thorns (now dead and rendered harmless). Lending it my weight, I pivot with perfect grace bringing my foot across the muddy split to rest on the base of the other side. Then I slip and fall and land with both feet in the mud, stumble and grab hold tight of a young living bush and get cut and bleed and Zaina laughs so hard she pees a bit. A few minutes after this I’m electrocuted by a fence “meant for keeping out cows” which she enjoys not just in the moment but for every moment thereafter, spontaneously bursting into laughter about it at any given hour of the day or night. Nothing has ever brought her the kind of sustained joy and happiness of having watched me be electrocuted in a field at the very edge of england.

That night I book a train away from Lizard, out of Cornwall. We spend a lovely day on Friday travelling and laughing and eating McDonalds and getting lost. Eventually through to Redruth, on the bus/rail replacement service. We get to Plymouth. The Duke of Cornwall Hotel. A lovely evening of merriment and joy.

On my birthday we walked all over the Hoe area. Beautiful, got splashed by the sea. Ate well. I finally ate the fish that filled my fish hole at Rockfish. We had what felt like several wonderful days yesterday. There was cheese and a bubble bath.

Sunday we travelled back to London. It’s been lovely. At home now tidying up and sleeping.

last week? the last week. this week? lizard.

i miss living so little that i wrote so much, or visa versa. i miss you, pretty girl.

i’m proud of him for doing that, i’m proud. it hurts. it’s hard when the last person you’d want to is the only person who does.

it feels wild, every time. i can’t believe it, ever. time won’t exist then, yellow bodies turned inside out. yellow baby, promises, only in your head.

some things, if you do not write them now,,, those’ll never beeeeeeeeeeee wrritttttenll

chicken’s next to me now looking so vibrant that i’m forcing myself awake to keep myself awake enough to write enough.

she just started a little jazz. it’s good. i think it’s, like, arabic jazz. it’s pretty and certainly makes it easier to keep typing. parts of my body feel spent by now. we came down on the train (the strrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

woops

damn lol i’m so sleepy. it gets late so early in winter. it gets early morning so late in cornwall. we got the sleeper train down. at 8am in redruth everything was still ice cold shut. in the event of the redruth market with hthe music playing from the radio and then a full english rekfast. still.

we walked all over the peninsular. it’s so pretty by the water where everything ends. it’s cute. the witche’s ball is all full of people who are comfortable at the end of the earth. england. southerly point.

i had a religious experience by the refrigerator, thinking about how it’s important to find somewhone who’ll see the slices of life with you… or the shapes… or the types of life with your… or the rhymes, or rhythmes… or something. i can’t remember anymore. the door cracked, like someone pulling on the handle. we freaked out. i locked it, closed the curtains. i chilled out, she’s still a little scared.

met thurston in the witch and ball. met martin who thurston’d researched and learned that his dad met Haile Selassie who bought em two vanilla ice creams. i don’t know. there’s the bottom of england. this is where the tarot cards were painted and they know it.

anyway. train. between imbolc and equinox can be hard. wompy wheels, wompy wheels, wompy fucking wheels. we are in cornwall, i am a nightmare disaster it’s hard being like i am . but maybe things can be good eventually. we took that bus, that train. maybe it can be good. it was very special watching the fields movies together.

the week will be good, lots of new music and dumb ass nonsense waking up on the floor. i’m looking forward to all of it. xxx

accessible bathroom, redruth. lizard peninsula compliment from konnie huq. deluge, facts. 10 shortbreads. spingo, spingo, spingo. facts, no doubt.

it took 3 hours to get to the coöp. and finally i have cereal, i’ve eaten a whole box with milk in the middle of the night. can i stay drunk that long?