having a little think about bigglywinks
having a little think about bigglywinks
having a little think about bigglywinks
welcome!
hello!!!
i took some time off last week to drink and make music. some of it is good so far, but iβm still trying to figure out how to achieve this particular sound iβve been trying to figure out since i was like 17. itβs so hard. i donβt know exactly how to make it sound like it might fall apart but that itβs like that on purpose, not by mistake. itβs a style i spent many years cultivating with acoustic instruments but iβve only very rarely been able to make it work in combination with electronic sounds. i guess the percussion is part of where it goes wrong. i guess as well that maybe i need to try doing it without sequencing anything at all actually, and playing everything live in layers and stitching it together later. itβs very hard to make a shambles. does anyone know where i could get just a little more talent? i donβt need much! just a little bit!
i met some random person who was walking around london on acid and i hung around with him while he wandered the city for a while. we parted ways at some point, not sure when.
i went to see stewart lee at the greenwich comedy festival. it was great. afterwards i had a nap in the street. itβs strange how the let those people queueing for the queen sleep on spare trains. turns out letting people with nowhere to stay sleep in spare trains overnight was always an option?
apart from making music and drinking tequila and beer iβve been tidying my apartment a lot over and over and over, rearranging some furniture, and watching silly movies from the 90s.
for a while yesterday i had no anxiety at all and i tell you what it was wonderful. i was like another person, i felt like i was on acid the whole time, it was a beautiful experience.
i found a real cute landscape painting in the street, a painting of of llamas on a farm in ecuador, and itβs in my house now on my mantel. itβs lovely. there was a lamp there too. i need a lot more lighting and also i need some foam. iβm thinking of trying to pick up a little divider so i can partition off my desk area to make it feel like another room.
anyway. letβs make a grilled cheese and drink 12 stellas.
sometimes iβm afraid to go to sleep because i know iβm going to wake up tomorrow a different person i donβt know what ways iβll be different. i know iβll have a different set of interests but i donβt know if that set will contain the project i started working on tonight. i wish i could rely on myself to be there tomorrow, but i never can. i have a choice to be okay with letting it go, or locking in on it until the thing is done. locking in and staying up means an inferior result compared to if i got a nightβs sleep, but itβs better than the thing that never got made. itβs a gamble, and i have never learned in all these years to predict or even guess at the outcome. tonight iβm going to try ordering a hot dog, drinking some 0% chocolate milk, 2 beers and finish as much as i can before i pass out (which iβm not going to try to delay in any way) and weβll see how that approach works. iβll be sad if this doesnβt get done because i spent hours developing material for it.
reverting to they/them pronouns. please update your address book
itβs just too intimate being referred to in gendered terms by most people
also fine with βitβ. name only is also great

couple of nights ago i went for a nap in the street and people kept waking me up to ask me if i was alright and if i needed anything. canβt stop thinking about it, there are homeless people all over london. are they being woken up asked that? i was fine, just tired. then they let all those people in The Queueβen sleep in spare trains? i donβt know. anyway.
remember when Apple shipped a version of Safari where reversed arrays stayed reversed after a page refresh lol