week 11; 2022

some sunny days
sick a lot
sick of a lot too
went to fox & firkin on Saturday then to a birthday party. can’t tell if i had a good time.
came down with something on Sunday. shivering with muscle cramps?
meant to be going on holiday in a few days. not packed or prepared in any way.
have a good week x

meant to be going to mexico next week. really cannot be bothered. don’t want to pack, don’t want to fly, don’t want to do anything but sleep.

week 10; 2022

pfff, who knows.
monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday there were fuckers in my house repairing boilers and bath panels and doing gas certificate tests and electricals and a landlord property inspection
- felt really on edge most of the week knowing fuckers were gonna come to my door
i descaled my espresso machine. that orange light has been blinking since i lived in peckham
finished watching M*A*S*H and started again with the laugh track off
went to a God Is An Astronaut gig on Friday evening
- there are a few things i’d forgotten about myself
  - i don’t like being in crowds
  - i don’t like being near loud noises
- i’ve remembered these now, big time. my ears still feel like something happened to them
- after the gig we went to the Polo Bar across the road from Liverpool Street Station
  - it’s a 24 hour café and bar that has the feel of an old diner
  - it’s cute in there
i keep going to sleep and disappointing everyone
happy birthday valeriya

i just had this really fucked up dream where there were people who had had their skulls cut open and their brains reprogrammed with tubes and then i was in the back of this car and i was explaining to somebody that obviously the plan was to eventually make it so everyone “voluntarily” have their brains reprogrammed because of the extra powers that it would give them, but eventually places like public libraries would say you needed to have your brain reprogrammed with tubes in order to enter for the security of the other customers but that it would mean that the police would be able to shut you down or read your memories any time they wanted. then the car suddenly screeched to a halt and the driver said over an intercom “the cheebot is malfunctioning” then then i got pulled out of the car onto the sidewalk and they cut my skull open with a knife and started fixing my programming with tubes then they started cutting open my leg and pelvis and it was so painful that i woke up then i said “hey google what time is it” and my google pod thing said “5 thirty pm” and i was like “what” and then i tried to move and couldn’t then i woke up again and i still couldn’t move and i said and i said “hey google what time is it” and it said “between 1 and 2” and i was like “what” and then i woke up again and now i could move and i said “hey google what time is it” and it said 7.m.

when you come across an ogre in the woods with a thorn in its foot you’re presented with some options. you can pull the thorn out of its foot and earn its gratitude, servitude, and it can save you from a robber later on when you blow the whistle. or you push the thorn deeper into the ogre’s foot, until it learns self-sufficiency, its strength overpowering its pain it pulls the thorn out of its own foot and then it thrashes around and it grabs you and it shakes you until you are dead and it kills you and it tosses your lifeless body off into green woods.

you can also leave.

happy International Women’s Boxing Day

don’t forget to be antiwar