On Thursday evening a sente a 7-minute long voice note to my ex. On Friday morning i awoke to a 7-minute long voice note from my ex. I booked a flight to Mexico. I had a nap. I felt the doom. I cancelled the flight the and hotels. I recieved another voice note. She's met someone. A sense of relief washed over me. To my surprise I'm so happy she is being taken care of by somebody who loves her and i feel free.

On Saturday morning I ent to Hackney to get my goodbye tattoo. It's a little girl rabbit holding a cat like it's a baby. Neither of them are capable of looking after the other. My artist was a very lovely person and it was a pleasure to spend a morning with her while she stabbed me repeatedly in the forearm.

Went from there to Finsbury Park to Benjamin's birthday. I was the first to arrive, though I was several hours late. There were lovely people, many of whom had 4 letter names. We went to Benjamin's house afterwards for a party in one of the warehouse districts. Saw Pixie, which was nice.

I borrowed a Spanish guitar from a Spanish girl in the street, her name was Elsa. I sang Stray Cat Strut for her, I fell down onto my knees. She asked me if i'd like to come to her home and i said no. I went by her apartment for a party later, but she wasn't there. I had an entire relationship with another lady in the length of time it took for us to go to the shop for diet coke. We unexpectly started holding hands on the way to the shop, we stopped in at a bar on the way home and danced to karaoke, then we made out some, then we agreed not to make out any more and to go our separate ways.

Some guy broke the lock on their door in the night and stole a bicycle, the bicycle was recovered but the lock was broken for good. I went to B&Q and got them a new lock. The locks in B&Q are kept behind padlocks, you have call for assistance from an assistant to unlock the locks. They have a key cloning machine in B&Q, but the keys they sell with the locks they sell can't be cloned using their key cloning machine. They sell a screwdriver whose packaging requires a screwdriver to open. I don't know what's going on over there. I mean i'd had a lot of ketamine but i think this is reality's problem, not mine.

Those warehouses are a unique cultural event that should be chronicled, imho. I hope somebody is doing it. The next day we hung out on a red couch in the street taking ketamine. We went up on the roof for a while, and it was okay but it was no red couch on the street with R in a shopping trolly. Once I'd been awake for around 36 hours and my body was an empty shell being carried around by cocaine and corona, i popped into a quick k-hole and rebuilt the world from white light and first principals and came back and then I went to support EL and see her at the party she was running in Bonkers. I fell asleep in a crowded room at the afterparty and woke up alone at 5am.

I'm back in my house and working now, still wearing the same dress I left the house in for the tattoo at 7am Saturday. I've sweated so much, i will be peeling this dress off. I may have to call the fire brigade to cut me out of it. I managed to keep a hold of nearly all my belongings this weekend, and not be self-destructive even though i drank a lot and snuffled chemicals i'd never even heard of before. Life is good again and there are good people in it.

what is there to say about this week? hmm… ¿qué pasó?

¿Qué fue lo que pasó?

i got a new telephone from i filed an insurance claim. here was the whole claim:

I lost my phone while walking through London.

and then i paid £109 and they sent me a brand new apple telephone. getting drunk enough to lose my phone that was completely smashed to pieces with only half a working screen worked out well.

other events of the week included taking two mental health days off work because i felt like my mind was going to snap in two. though i did attend a couple of meetings on each of those days.

i quadrupled down on learning spanish, i'm tentatively planning a trip back to méxico. i got a little book of mayan and aztec tales that's printed like this:

|‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾|‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾|
|         |         |
| english | español |
|         |         |
|_________|_________|

lb tells me that's called "parallel text". it's really nice to be able to read as much as you can in Spanish and then glance over and see the one word you don't know. i looked for other parallel text books and i saw one for children with two rabbits on the cover. they looked like they were kissing. the book was called "te amo". i cried my little eyes out. i turned off my computer and went outside and sat on a bench with a bottle of red wine on my knees, though i didn't drink any of it. i didn't even open it. i sat in the sun on my little bench by the church and a nice lady sat beside me and talked to me about the sun and the bench.

i've organized to meet with a tutor on tuesday. on-line. though they are in london. they actually used to live just round the corner from me until last month! ¡qué coincidencia!

on friday night i had a dream that sofia had text me out of the blue to help her pick between two pairs of shoes. it was nice until i woke up. on saturday i lay on the sofa thinking about how nice it would be to go outside, or even into la cocina, but never really was able to move until i decided i'll get dressed and go and buy a bottle of dry pink wine. once i was dressed, the wine shop was already closed and i was cute for no reason. at least i made some music. on saturday night i had a dream that sofia had text me out of the blue to tell me she thought it wasn't too late and we should talk. we had a nice chat and then i woke up. last night i did not sleep, which is great porque if you don't sleep then you can't wake up. i remember abigail once telling me she hates dreams because if they are bad then they're bad, but if they're good then you wake up and they're over and they weren't real. haha. jajaja. today i will put that outfit back on and go to the wine shop and buy a dry pink wine, then i will go to a bench or a park and make some music.

i made a new keyboard layout that makes it easier to write in spanish.

if i type ' and then a o e o i o o o u then it will give me a á etc if i type ~ and then ! or ? i get the ¡¿ ~ and then n give me ñ and " and then u gives me ü but pressing them before anything else it just types them normally i will almost certainly typeof == ündefined" at some point but other than that it's lovely

el diá de los pingüinitos nos hace a ambos muy tristes.

i like the number 22. i hope you had a happy week 22 everyone. i wish you a happy week 23.