• Thursday was fucking long
  • Friday was fucking hard
  • Saturday was really big.
  • ngl… on Friday there were moments when i wasn’t sure we were gonna make it

Over the weekend I started to develop some flu symptoms. Got real bad Monday night after many hours of meetings. Tuesday woke up dead. Almost couldn’t believe it, flying in 3 days and dead today. My throat, my head, my fever. I get sick a lot these days, and it’s mostly pretty OK, but this flu gosh almighty. Took 3 covid tests when i was at my sickest, all said no, so when the fever broke on Wed i figured I would still be OK to fly 36 hours later on Thursday night. The flight was OK. aeromexico’s a very different experience. I was dehydrated a lot, couldn’t get a hold of a flight attendant. Still now my voice is fucked and hurts, my nasal passage is dry and painful. my sinuses are so blocked, but i’ve been steaming myself dirty. every few hours i can breathe for a few minutes and it’s second to none.

it’s strange how Luke Vibert’s best album Big Soup is not available on any of the streaming platforms.

since i’ve been here we’ve mostly just hung around the apartamento and worked on stuff and stuff. at the risk of sounding incredibly gay it truly is, like, the light of my life just to be here with her. in the same room. eating maruchan, watching her work.

the apartment i’m staying in, I have to talk to security every time i leave. i don’t like that.

i slept well last night. i’ll have to remember to take notes this week, because today i’ve only been here two days and so much has happened. Saturday was weeks long.

this mind bending optical illusion is hiding two animals.

my big ambition for the next week: empty sinuses and a clear mind.

new job

ok, well i have a new job now.

owls

i’ve been looking at a lot of photos of owls

  • these fucksers are weird
  • like, i think we’ve been ignoreing them too long
  • letting them get up to all sorts of shit
  • look at a picture of an owl
    • https://duckduckgo.com/?q=owl&hps=1&iax=images&ia=images
    • like fi you found out they were really in charge , would you be surprised?
    • like can it be normal to be furious curious feathered egg?
    • if you look closely you can see that the owl is actually a mask being worn by a pretty young woman

neil young

In a 1985 interview with Melody Maker, musician Neil Young said “It is scary. You go to a supermarket and you see a faggot behind the fuckin’ cash register, you don’t want him to handle your potatoes”

In 1984 Young backed Ronald Reagan, saying: ‘I’m tired of people constantly apologising for being Americans.’

I, a Canadian, am no longer going to apologize for being from the United States

get wet

i fell asleep holding a beer and got wet

get fast

i enabled caching and Turbo Links so my blog is much faster now. zoom zoom, in fact.

police horse

watched a lady give a flower from her garden to the rider of a police horse, and the rider let the police horse sniff it before tucking it into her saddle and they rode away

duckpin bowling

let’s go bowling if you’re not busy

it can be duckpin

going

i’m going to Mexico City for 6 weeks in like 4 days time. 7 weekends. can’t wait.

CIA/remote viewing/Gateway Experience/1,000,000 year old aliens

Good advice from the CIA:

Be intellectually prepared to react to possible encounters with intelligent, non-corporal energy forms when time-space boundaries are exceeded.

Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process

good doc. i like the idea of the universe as a holograph that i pass through my personal holograph (brain/consciousness) in 3 dimensions in order to get around and get my business done (buy milk etc). also like the idea of the brain as an insulator required to keep a piece of consciousness in one place so that we (god) can experience the novelty of being at many different points in the universe at once (people).

a head with eyes closed being intersected in the middle by 3 planes (one of each dimension)
please, i am trying to think.

some time in the future we maybe we will laugh at people from now who pointed at a blob of jelly in the skull and says “the person lives in there “. “that’s where consciousness comes from, that jelly. you shouldn’t need any more info”. materialism is great for going to the shop and buying milk, materialism is great for economic theory, but for art i need something more… “clicked out”

on Friday night i thought too much about the very tall skinny million year old aliens mentioned in this CIA remote viewing experiment and i spooked myself out completely and had to close the blinds. i just don’t want to look at the window and see its eyes. i spooked myself out so hard that i could literally feel its presence and not just that, i knew we had met before and that i owed it something lmao. it felt like an ancient memory coming from my DNA and crawling in my skin. in the morning i could laugh about it, but at 2am i could only:

  1. close the blinds
  2. lie down
  3. wait for it all to be over

Jimena called around then and i talked about it so i could stop being spooked out, usually that helps, but this time i just spread the spook to her and now everybody was spooked. jajaja.

we near the halfway point of the year

  • hey, sometimes you just gotta prepare yourself to be a sacred space within which the bestial howl of the triumphant proletariat can resound with new energy and new hope
  • read from an old diary today. unrecognizable.
  • mostly at the moment i just
    1. work
    2. learn spanish
    3. plan for mexico
  • i went out on monday and sat on a bench and ate some snacks and looked at a fox and did my spanish lesson
  • on tuesday i made a packed lunch at lunch time and went and sat on a bench in the middle of some grass and did my spanish lesson
  • spent wednesday reading the apple developer documentation to make an app but it turns out you can’t actually use the iCloud APIs even in development without paying them £79 which i absolutely cannot afford, was excited for a bit.
  • thursday was another day
  • friday. well, look. america is over now.
  • saturday and sunday i just spent chatting with jime and getting ready to prepare to pack for mexico. oh i also watched some of the RMT demo on-line and it was really good
  • i didn’t post this on sunday because i fell asleep on computer
  • i fly in 10 days. 6 weeks with the one i love.

  • hi :)
  • tomorrow is RABBIT 🐇 RABBIT 🐇 RABBIT 🐇
  • it’s also the anniversary of the unpleasant cultural shift
  • if you would be interested in a television show about magick yet also about debt, and about community and about capitalism, not dark or gritty but still deep and touching, with lots of subtle and precise humour, with plenty of patterns and hints and sacred numbers, with a great storyline, and a great cast i would like to recommend Lodge 49. it’s really really good. it’s uplifting.
    • as well as plain jokes, some of it is the kind of stuff Spike Milligan would find funny like a regular object just being slightly bigger than expected or a very carefully chosen word
  • i need to book a hotel. right now i only have a flight and it’s less than 3 weeks away. i’ll be landing at 4am!
  • i keep getting sick
  • ok so i didn’t realize the bitcoin currency symbol was added to unicode in 2017
    • which
    • fine whatever, however
    • check this out:
    • ₿-)
    • i’m wearing fancy little glasses
  • people love saying “everything is gonna be OK” but actually we’re all gonna die
    • maybe that’s beautiful
  • AMLO said “a government without corruption is useless” by mistake which is funny sort of
  • things were a little hard, but now they are once again beautiful
  • Garden hermit | Wikipedia
  • this is funnier than it should be Top ten numbers from 1-10 | Letterman | YouTube
  • if you make an effort to get out of your house as soon as possible every morning, that’s very helpful. just the first thing you gotta do is get outside for 10 mins as soon as you can, it really helps make the day work
  • i’m excited to be alive

i’m a big rabbit

went to a conference workshop on Monday. they had no food i could eat, i got really hungry. afterwards i went around for a while and drank and talked to strangers. learnt that there is a point when i stop wanting to enjoy people and start wanting something from people and that’s when everything goes wrong. have to stay under that number of drinks from now on. i will be 2 pints drunk at all times from now on.

Tuesday I worked and slept. jimena got a haircut, it looks cute. she’s like a happy little berry.

Wednesday I worked and slept. We had a date, i slept through it. i felt terrible about it.

Thursday i started to feel ill. i worked and slept. I had a bath, and at one point in the bath i became aware of something: i was going to shit and vomit. it was an emergency, literally, something was going to emerge from me. i scrambled out of the bath. my foot hit the floor and when it did i slipped a little. time stopped. i could see what fate would befall me if i fell: i would have slipped so i’d hit the toilet bowl and crack my skull while puking and shitting everywhere and i would have died drowned in my own waste and bleeding from the skull. glad i caught my balance.

Friday i stayed up late because we had a date. jimena ended up staying out, and we did not have our date. she felt terrible about it.

Saturday was Benjamin’s birthday and we went to Battersea park for Ben’s birthday bash. it was a good time. met some nice new people. didn’t spend too much money. everyone was going to the rave later and i wasn’t feeling it (still a bit sick!!) so i went home and me and Jimena had an impromptu date for about 4 hours. it was really nice and fruitful. felt wonderful about it.

oh i completely forgot to mention. my job has approved my working from Mexico for 6 weeks starting in July. i booked a flight. 7th. so i’m going back. i’m very excited. don’t know where i’m staying yet. will figure that out soon enough.

do you ever think, like, you know, they are killing us? protest doesn’t seem to do anything, and is being criminalized? we’ve seen now with the pandemic that even if it kills hundreds of thousands of people they will not stop the machine? they will not change? what option do we have? like what is the actual avenue for change when it is so urgent? we can’t wait to build class consciousness and solidarity and all those things that take half a century because by that time we’ll be living on a ball of ash? what options are there for real and permanent change?

woman in cute dress and leather jacket pointing an AR-18 assault rifle around a corner
here’s a photo of a girl with an ArmaLite AR-18 assault rifle