feliz nochebuena, sweethearts and treasures. hows u wee chick?

i'm gay

last week ended with:

Week 51 better start looking like joy, success and vitality pretty fucking soon.

me, last week

+ it did, actually.

here's the e.p. i mentioned last week: https://quiet-party.bandcamp.com/album/attention-deadzone-hyperactivity. it'll be on Spotify & Apple Music tomorrow, Christmas Day. un regalito de navidad para all of my two fans.

Sunday evening is spent at the cinema watching the Disney movie Wish with Lucky. rly fun. I love the songs. I love how everyone is indoctrinated and takes a while to understand that what evil is evil because they grew up with it + so it's normal. I love when the chubby little star gives everyone an orgasm which makes them realize a better world is possible.

Awake far past my bedtime for a Zoom holiday party call with the cute discord which starts at 8EST.

Monday. Dinner with Becky Avery is good. She is extremely hungover and on a comedown that started 36 hours ago—and was punctuated by a 9 hour Christmas cabaret and this dinner. We eat plenty. That morning i'd learned that i'm now a size too small for my denim dress (which is what I'm wearing). i only bought it in july!

I decide i’ll let myself eat anything i want. not as a treat—this dress is from joanie clothing, it cost like £100… i can’t afford a whole new wardrobe! i’m dieting for health not financial ruin!

We're at this cute veggie place in soho. i get two small plates and a large plate and a side and a mint tea. becky gets two small plates and a side and a flat white. the table is extremely small. becky avery spends a good five minutes arranging her plates. she’s a natural at prop comedy.

It’s very funny when becky avery is tired + furious, her light shines through anyway and she can say anything she likes and still be so funny and charming. a lorelai gilmore type. smarter than me, funnier than me, longer than me, sparkly-eyeder than me, brunetter than me.

After dinner I head to Selfridges, Oxford Street where I meet a young lady buying lipstick. We walk around for a while in circles looking for blenders, laughing at Objects, turning nothing up. We hit the Disney shop, smoke a cigarette, get the tube. I love that part of London in the winter. Oxford Street and Carnaby and Regents and Piccadilly Circus. it’s all so bright and beautiful and London off the telly. i forget i live in London, real London.

In the morning at Lewisham station i learn i’ve misplaced my house keys last night. i call the estate agent + arrange to grab their spare set. i’m a 25 min walk from the agent’s. The Slade Green is pulling in, that’ll get me there in 5 mins. I hop on. The doors close. “This is the Dartford”. Wrong train. I get off at the next stop. Hither Green, a 30 min walk from the agent’s. i leave by the wrong exit. I walk for 5 mins in the wrong direction. I'm still dizzy from the night before.

There's something so lonely about people in the world now. We've all been trained to preëmpt anything anyone might reply to us on social media. We harden ourselves against all possible attacks before we speak. We become the only version of ourselves that could withstand our worst nightmare happening, and in a way we make it come to pass. It seems so lonely. The only antidote is honesty. Honesty and learning to be OK with being wrong in public, as long as long as you were telling the truth.

Wednesday night is spent at the cinema watching the John Hughes movie Home Alone 2: Lost in New York starring Donald Trump with Lucky. It's really fun. We leave early.

Office in the morning. Sea Horse after. WFH on Friday. Have a cute time, then a hard time, then a cute time again. Briefly stop by Pete & Baz at Fox & Firkin in the evening to see sweet Val. We love her, don't we folks?

The morning is maybe the hardest part of the week, but it is fixed by eggs and understanding. And mayonnaise. It's hard to learn a person. Harder when that person's learning you. Hard to let a person learn you. Did a good job of tidying up. Hit Sainsbury's for ingredients. Made perhaps the best curry i've made in my life + played it off all chill like I do this all the time. Tell your friend I have a crush on her. It's hard to sleep, but that's okay because it's easy to stay awake. The Christmas Eve of Christmas Eve.

Sunday I'll write this blog post, try to make a perfect piece of music, eat an entire basket of organic cheddar, tidy up the kitchen, maybe help with the Christmas dinner shopping... rest up for the Big Day.

merry crincemince to all those who observe. apostates, infidels, heathens & heretics: enjoy the long weekend, treasure.

ok wee chick cya

xx

lmao.

Monday was a light day. Somebody came to my house to kiss me and then threw a pound coin onto my bed and left.

Tuesday was the work Christmas party. It was a lovely night. My favourite moment of the night was when ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮ to me during ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ and we ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ and ▮▮▮▮ "▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮" and then we ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ until the end of the night. It was special. Wet eyes, big smiles.

On Wednesday I was super chill and normal as usual.

On Thursday I learned that I'm a little bitch who can't be trusted. It was tough. I can't actually write about any of the details of this here, my week is full of important events that I can't write about. It's the first time I think I've felt I can't express myself here safely or well. It's the beginning of the end. I guess I'll have to find something else to do.

Let's talk about alchemy. It's the process of turning your dirty leaden soul into beautiful, rich, highly conductive gold. Did you know that "magnum opus" means "great work"? It means the same thing as masterpiece. In order to create your great work, you have to become the person who can create it. The traditional is becoming knowledgeable enough, and clean enough of spirit, to learn to turn iron or lead into gold. But whatever your art is, the great work is to turn yourself into the person who is able to create it via the very process of creating it. It's a single motion; as above so below; as the world so the soul.

I spent Friday in bed. I had one bad phonecall, one good phonecall, some other good things happened. Someone fed me. I headed home.

On Saturday I made a tasty meal with tomatoes and beyond beef mince and fresh fennel and many spices, it was very tasty. I spent the day in bed. Mostly making music. Some hanging out. I made an 8 track quiet party release called "ATTENTION DEADZONE HYPERACTIVITY".

it's mostly mixed, but needs mastered. it's only, like, 9 minutes long. this is what i do now, these little short releases of a few short songs.

Week 50: meeting with the goddess, woman as the temptress, atonement with the father, get the gift, pay the price.

Week 51 better start looking like joy, success and vitality pretty fucking soon.

hello, treasure.

i wrote + recorded + released a new quiet party e.p. this week. it's 3 tracks. w/ singing! it's rly good. it'll be on spotify etc over the next couple days but it's already on bandcamp. it's called 「ANTICIPATION」.

it's really good, i hope you enjoy it. btw did you know that you can use quiet party music in your instagram stories + reels and on tiktok? wow!

that's really all this week has been about. on tuesday i went to the office so i could go out for an ice cold glass of pepsi max with a colleague who i find to be very sweet. we were very funny.

tuesday morning i wrote and recorded "track 2: + explode". tuesday evening i wrote "track 3: close to u" on my walk home. wednesday morning i woke up and recorded "track 1: anticipation" and then that evening i recorded "close to u". they were all made entirely on the op-1, though "close to u" was mixed a lil afterwards on computer.

ummmmmmmmmmmm is there anything else? the short ceasefire is holding... zeezy is back from cairo....... kara is remixing "close to u"...... if anyone else would like to make a remix of any of the tracks lmk i will send all the stems + then it can go on the forthcoming remixes release of 「ANTICIPATION」 + we can share the 1 penny we get from spotify across 4 years:)

saturday i suffered some post-release depression and did not leave bed but i did eat an entire burrata. i guess i had all my nice emotions turned up to 11 for a few days trying to capture them like a camera captures light + then they all left my body at once. emotional overdraft like mdma. i've written a few more songs now. might get something else out before the end of the year, texas school book depository is coming to a close. ummmmmmmmmm

idk! i'm moving teams at work in the new year. my new boss is v excited. im excited too.

still getting up at 5am, still vegetarian, still keto. nothing more to report. i've made some coffee and it smells good. not as good as if it was made in lb's orange moccamaster, but fine.

okay, i hope you are doing well and keeping safe. take this it's dangerous to go alone.