British Summer Time

Sunday, August 1, 2021

i can't be fully honest about this week.


  • got dumped
  • i announced it on here using the Instagram message weightlifter Rich Piana sent when he broke up with his wife Sara in 2016. with all the hashtags. one of which is #nolovelikedoglove
  • we got high
  • we watched Pi
  • we played Fortnite
  • i dyed my hair mermaid green


  • had a call with simon legg
  • do i even stay in UK?
  • --- REDACTED ---
  • i wish i could just disappear
  • closed our joint account today. then we got high and held hands and listened to boards of canada.


  • i said "i'm not sad" and cried in the park after we walked at night for an hour


  • keep doing big sad sighs
  • notebook contains things like this:
    • "fake dumb stupid bitch, fake dumb stupid bitch, fake dumb stu"
    • "i don'tknow what to do, i don't know what to do, i do not know wh"
    • "i'm online-dating a slenderman. i have a tinder date with a 400ft twink"
  • met a guy who ends every bad story with "just gets better don't it?"
  • --- REDACTED ---
  • spent the night in an alley
  • staying up all night is bad


  • nothing


  • i've been killed i'm dead now


  • getting my second shot of pfizer tomorrow
  • looking forward to going back to work
  • i cannot imagine ever enjoying anything again.
    • i'm trying to just live my life and trust that it will get good again, that it won't feel bad forever.
      • it's hard to believe, but i remember it was hard to believe before