Monday

• sometimes you meet someone and just feel an instant connection with them and just want to keep them in a cage in your room and perform MKULTRA experiments on them
• spent Monday thinking about how i used to face difficult decisions by throwing I Ching, and started exploring a holistic philosophy of magick i'd sort of left behind a decade ago when i got hurt by somebody i loved and shut the door entirely
  • decided to become a tarot girl
  • found a bunch of old documents i'd collected and written about discordianism and chao magick and this and that, and integrated and assumed the borksystems emily null character entirely (which is much easier now with the black hair and translucent powder and bangs)
  • the day before a girl did my birth chart in the middle of the dance floor which is an experience with a lot of surface area that will be a memory i'll enjoy for a long time

Tuesday

• i went to stepping stones greenwich and bought a tarot deck (a classic pamela colman smith deck) and a book and some dragons blood
• at about 10p.m. i walked up to where the A2 touches blackheath and the longitude is 0°0'0" and i stood due north and took a key of ketamine and at 22:22 i put on a pair of 3d glasses and absorbed all the twos on earth (ate them) and drew a tarot card which said "hell yea seems like you've been doin a lot of work for no reward huh and everything seems stuck with no sense of direction" and then i went home and burnt a pair of dragons blood and asked for more info and was told to chill out for a bit and be wise and chill
• put myself to bed quite shortly after that

Wednesday

• put borksystems back up
• found out the waite-smith deck went into the public domain in the UK this year, which is cool. it's cute art.
• most of this day was about uninteresting things that don't need to be remembered
• i tidied up my flat and went to bed quite early

Thursday

• this trackball emoji is strange 🖲️
• tidied up my flat and went to bed quite early after a shower with a book

Friday

• ok so this was a weird day
  • very, very weird
• well it started with a tarot reading saying today i was dealing with loss of control and something i had been building being destroyed suddenly by god
  • this made no sense, which was honestly the first time that happened with a reading and i said "hmm" and walked away
  • well somebody put a meeting in my calendar 5 mins later and let's just say hey it actually made a lot of fucking sense
• then i went out for dinner with friend. there are things to write about this but i'm not strong enough to be honest on somebody else's behalf. but it was difficult.
• then i went to meet a friend in tooting but they weren't answering their phone
• i was leaning against a monument outside tooting broadway when 3 girls walked past and just as they passed me they realized they'd all been following each other and i was like "lol you just realized you'd all been following each other huh"
  • and they invited me to the pub with them
    • i did a tarot reading for one girl and now she's going to break up with her boyfriend. it was actually really intense.
  • then back to their place to take coke and have a boogie
    • i convinced them to get ketamine as well
      • and two of them went immediately into a k-hole and then to bed
  • the other of us left
  • one of them followed me on instagram
    • when she handed me her phone so i could type in my insta i followed myself and then like a cute picture of myself and said "i've liked a picture of me where i look cute" and she looked at it and was like "you DO look cute" and then i turned to her best friend who was standing right beside her and i took out my phone and i was like and i was like "omg i've got butterflies. this cute girl M just followed me on insta. she MAY BE the cutest person on earth. omg and she liked a pic" and her friend was like "omg M is blushing. i don't think i've ever seen M blush before"
      • i'm a menace to society
      • that being said i'm pretty sure she called me the belle of belfast city earlier in the night
      • (the next day i was thinking about how excited she is to be moving from predicting the sales of garlic and rosemary to the sales of citrus
        • citrus is a lot more challenging apparently, and she was so excited about and i thought about it today and just started crying about how excited she is to be moving to citrus)
  • i assume i will never see any of them again
• i went from there to a bus stop and while i was there some dude walked up who looked so sorry and lost
  • i asked him if he was okay because he looked so sorry and so lost
    • he said "am i in hammersmith?" and i said "oh no baby you are in stockwell. south"
    • and he was like ":'( how do i go to wandsworth bridge road" and then i was like lol damn, well the person whose house i'm going to lives just off that road so what i'll do is i'll book a taxi for us, and you can get in it and then you can get out when you start seeing parts of the road you recognize
    • he got out when he recognized his street and he thanked me and called me an angel and asked me for my instagram and i said ":) we will meet again" which is how i pronounce "no thank you"
• stayed there for a while then eventually left around 5a.m. or so but didn't get home until about 9a.m. because i fell asleep on the overground and just kept bouncing back and forth for hours, waking up at the stop after my stop. i think i could have gotten home from the other stops too, but my phone was dead and i only had one route inside my head.

Saturday

• i spent most of the day having various naps and receiving various packages
• i ate curry goat and jerk chicken and became Large and Round and still like a egg
• i watched a lot of m*a*s*h and cried a lot, especially during the episode when henry blake leaves. but also i cried a lot about remembering how sweet some people i know are. i'm emotionally very fragile, which i really enjoy because there's nothing like being wet with tears
• i'm in heat
• I sat around thinking like a fucking chump most of the day. made some kind of rice bowl with hot dog and eggy 🥚 and brown rice and mushroom and a special dark sauce
• I went to bed early so i could get up early early and go to one of the two parties

Sunday

• Instead i went to neither party and spent Sunday morning balancing my chequebook and making sure all my direct debits were up to date. i accidentally overpaid the electricity company 200 pounds of British sterling, but that's fine what are you gonna do.
• i walked right up to you and told you that i'm in a synthpop band (that’s from a freezepop song)
• LIVE FROM THE FRONT LINE: i’m on the number 21 bus wearing a lab coat and a stethoscope and orange sunglasses and listening to big band music. i’m also wearing a rosary where the cross broke off and a pentagram necklace.
• i cried twice again today about how excited that girl is is to be moving from garlic predictions to citrus predictions.
• the winter is truly truly over

I went to the rave, ñ and l and v and me got out on the balcony. I had a nice time. I only stayed for a short while, then i went to a very cute bar nearby and had an absinthe then walked the streets a while.

btw on world war 4, if you have the wikipedia page for ukraine open in another tab rn i do not need to hear from you

yo