sometimes i'm afraid to go to sleep because i know i'm going to wake up tomorrow
a different person i don't know what ways i'll be different. i know i'll have a
different set of interests but i don't know if that set will contain the project
i started working on tonight. i wish i could rely on myself to be there
tomorrow, but i never can. i have a choice to be okay with letting it go, or
locking in on it until the thing is done. locking in and staying up means an
inferior result compared to if i got a night's sleep, but it's better than the
thing that never got made. it's a gamble, and i have never learned in all these
years to predict or even guess at the outcome. tonight i'm going to try
ordering a hot dog, drinking some 0% chocolate milk, 2 beers and finish as much
as i can before i pass out (which i'm not going to try to delay in any way) and
we'll see how that approach works. i'll be sad if this doesn't get done because
i spent _hours_ developing material for it.
cherries