🐰 chee cherries quiet party

entries from 2022

British Summer Time GMT+1

week 15; 2022

wauw.

🥚🫡

i completely forgot it was domingo, and nearly forgot to write a post.

i'm a little low energy today.

  • after writing the blog post on Sunday i booked a flight back to CDMX. i will be flying on the 27th of April and coming home on the 10th of Mayonnaise. i can't wait. if i had higher energy i would have so much to say about this. pero, it's the most exciting.
  • later on Sunday evening i went out to Fox & Firkin with Val and Ben and (briefly) Ted. it was a nice time, we had some nice chats. i have the biggest smile on my face all the time. I drank one tequila and one beer and then I walked home.
  • jimena watched all of Derry Girls
  • i finally remembered how we started talking, I said "do you mind if i smoke?" i'd given up smoking 8 weeks earlier, hadn't had a single puff, but then i was drunk at the festival and a pack of marlboro reds was about £2 instead of like £20 so i bought them. so glad i did. smoking saves lives.
  • we had a nice phone call on Monday. the connection was really bad and there were a lot of times we didn't hear each other well... but it was so sweet and it was so good. we confirmed we feel the same.
  • had a chat about work. had a meeting at work. things might be looking up. too soon to say.
  • we watched the new episode of Derry Girls on-line together.
  • my manager left on wednesday. went for drinks after work. talked to some people i hadn't seen in a while. it was nice.
  • some things have happened that i don't have the right focus to type up, but... we are both putting a lot of work in to making sure that whatever is going on it is healthy. and it's really a beautiful feeling.
  • thursday i was pretty hungover, had another meeting. went really well. things might be looking up. nothing's final.
  • it's nice to know that i have met somebody who has the same explicit highly sexual fantasies as me such as having breakfast together or chatting and holding hands
  • friday morning i bought a new computer and went to Bromley to pick it up. it's a gold macbook air, it looks pink in most light. it's cute. i stuck a PARTY HARD sticker to it. bromley is cute too, i will come back here.
  • on Saturday i went to a party at the house of some work people. it was nice. saw some people i hadn't seen in a long time. i left before the party was over, but after the party was done.
  • she wore bunny rabbit earrings to her sisters birthday. when i am anxious now i remember about the bunny rabbit earrings and everything kind of fades away.
  • it's 10 days now until my flight. that's a countdown. i have to start getting ready and i haven't even recovered from coming back. i will not be going outside until my flight. i cannot risk getting sick before the 27th. i cannot remember the last time i felt this much joy and optimism. it's pouring out of me. i can feel sometimes when i'm laughing that my smile is bigger than it's ever been, my muscles tingling in my cheeks.
British Summer Time GMT+1
genuinely trying to choose between going hard and going home 
British Summer Time GMT+1
i’m happy 
British Summer Time GMT+1
i can’t fucking wait 
British Summer Time GMT+1
ₜₒdₒ ᵦᵢₑₙ ᵗᵒᵈᵒ ᵇᶦᵉⁿ ᴛᴏᴅᴏ ʙɪᴇɴₜₒdₒ ᵦᵢₑₙ ᴛᴏᴅᴏ ʙɪᴇɴ ᴛᴏᴅᴏ ʙɪᴇɴ ᵗᵒᵈᵒ ᵇᶦᵉⁿ ᵗᵒᵈᵒ ᵇᶦᵉⁿ
ᵗᵒᵈᵒ ᵇᶦᵉⁿ ᵗᵒᵈᵒ ᵇᶦᵉⁿ 
British Summer Time GMT+1

week 14; 2022

i am depleted. but in a good way.

on Monday i went to la pulquería favorita de la chica del parque bicentenario and drank a large jug of pulque piñon. it was the most local place i went to in CDMX. when i walked in i got the feeling "i am not meant to be here," but i was bolstered by my dream of drinking something somewhere someone had been so i soldiered on. the drink was pink and sticky and thick. it was sweeter than i should drink, i think., but i'd been careful throughout the week and it didn't seem to spike my blood sugar noticeably. i look forward to returning and trying the celery.

she thought i'd meant 11a.m for my flight back to Londres, and when she found out it was p.m. we arranged to meet up for a walk and a dinner when she got out of work. she's a designer for some kind of bakery consortium. i went home and packed all my bags. i got so nervous i threw up. let me tell you something: i've gone on stages in front of dozens of people by myself and sang songs that i wrote and i have never psychosomatically chundered in my life before this. what the hell. anyway we found ourselves holding hands again for a little while, and we went to a juice bar, and we laughed a lot, and we walked back and spent 30 minutes saying goodbye. she told me she'd been thinking a good gift for me would be a beanie with long rabbit ears before she knew my surname is rabbits and that i am the largest rabbit in the world. she said "¡¡you're like a big rabbit!!", the words i've longed to hear. she shouted "goodbye chee!!" looking back from halfway down the street and then what i did, right, was i got on a plane and i flew five thousand and five hundred fucking miles away.

in mexico city shops often have temperature sensors that you have to hold your hand up to and they beep to tell you that you're cool enough to enter the room. most of them beep. there's one coffee shop that has one that firmly, yet merrily, declares "¡NORMAL!". i agree with that machine.

¡normal!

let's see. i got on a plane, i was sitting between a mother and her son and they kept talking over me and passing objects over me and i offered to switch places with either of them and they merrily, yet firmly, said "no:)". i thought a lot about how the seats in aeroplanes just shouldn't be able to go back at all, it's so rude. my legs were so cramped and i was so tired and it was an incredibly long and unpleasant flight. but i text with the girl from bicentennial park during the flight and we laughed a lot and and i didn't care so bad that it was so long and so unpleasant.

i took a tube home, then a train. when i got into my apartment i was astonished. it was like the apartment of a person who has been depressed! i started tidying, it's not so bad now. it's got a clean kitchen table and it's cozy again. though it still needs some work :)

on Wednesday i went into the office. i saw some people. i told them about how i'd met this person. i think it was all i talked about. i could not focus on anything, cosmos in the chest and anthill in the belly. went to a mexican restaurant at lunch, it was not very good. after work we went for drinks, talked a bit about the dynamics at work and why it is hard to hire people, and why people are leaving. i talked a bit about my team. my despair about my team and about my work have been replaced by transcendental nihilism. my hope and dreams have been replaced with different hopes and fewer dreams.

i have not been sleeping right. wednesday and thursday i woke up at 4a.m., had a chat for two hours and then i just got up and started my day. on thursday night i didn't sleep at all. on friday night i went to sleep in kinda good time, and tried to force myself to sleep in but i have all these thoughts and chemicals and things i want to say jaajajjaja i just am lying still sometimes and staring into the darkness of my room unable to stop my mind and body from churning. feelin' like a little laboratory. ¡normal!

anyway mostly i just spent the week laughing, giggling, wriggling and eating corn. i haven't taken any drugs, i've gone for some walks, i've cooked everything i ate except for a battered fish i ordered and ate with valentina and lime. i don't know what to say. like, for a week that contained more good emotions than as many weeks as i can remember that went before it, nothing really happened. i just sat around texting and walked around smiling and glowing and beaming and being like :3. she bullies me.

on friday or saturday at one point i sang and played the guitar for pleasure. can you imagine? can't remember the last time i did that, tbh. i just sat there, singing songs, for no reason other than i was relaxed and happy and in the mood to. can you imagine? syd barrett, libertines, a few old blues numbers, improvising some little jangly guitar bits in between the songs all interstitial-like, Stray Cat Strut, &c, &c. can you imagine?

¡normal!

i'd love to apologize for how excruciating and sickly and corny this post is, but i'm not sorry. sorry.

lo siento bebé.

British Summer Time GMT+1

week 13; 2022

On Monday I ordered my breakfast en español for the first time. They were like “¿en inglés o en español?” and i said “no”, then i said “quiero huevos divorciados y café con leche, porfa “ and they said “¿picante?” and i said “síííííí”! an exciting time, for me. I got sunburned drinking tequila from a pepsi bottle sitting on a stone circle around a gigantic dry fountain. I looked like a little raspberry. a big raspberry, i guess.

I canceled my trip to Monterrey. turned out cheaper to stay in a fancy apartment for the last few days and get a ticket to a different festival right here in CDMX than getting the internal flight and Monterrey hotel. Monday was also when i finally got my elotes. A somewhat stressful experience, worth it to be covered in tajin and mayonnaise like the girl from club de cuervos.

The phrase i say the most is “lo siento”. Next most is “todo bien”.

When I was second in line for elotes, the person before me let the cobhandler struggle to find a 5 peso coin in her apron for like 3 minutes. She had to resort to borrowing one from another vendor. That other vendor then stood right beside me watching my face when it was my turn. Feeling pretty crowded, i failed to understand two very simple things, which were essentially “¿negro o blanco?” and “25 pesos”. Eventually we sorted it out, but i only had a 50 peso note and i didn't want her scrounging around in her apron again so i handed it to her and took the corn and said “todo bien, lo siento” and ran away.

Came out of my hotel room Tuesday to find a maid and a handyman trying to break in together. They had my door lock open on the floor, batteries out. When i opened the door we all were stunned for a moment. i said “hola” and we all started laughing. i offered the international sign for “i was having a nap” followed by the international sign for “it’s all yours” and ran away.

it’s weird that they don't have "no molestar por favor" signs for the rooms at this hotel; it’s weird that both of the times that i've been in the room during the day and they've come to clean they've been surprised and confused that i am here; it’s weird they assumed that when the door didn’t open for them that it was broken rather than that it was locked from the inside. feeling like the first person to ever come to Mexico city and not speak spanish, feeling like the first person to ever come to México city and take a nap in their hotel room during the day. neither of these things can be true ✅, but…

Met Simon Legg for a coffee on Wednesday. we walked around the perimeter of the Plaza de la Constitución (edit: i've been informed by jimena that i should be calling this place the Zócalo) the Zócalo where Bluetooth simply stops functioning. Wifi doesn’t work well there either. So far while getting coffees my name has been transcribed “chi”, “qui” and “chip”. maybe i will have it changed to chii.

On Thursday i watched some health workers protest in demand of the correct protective gear from the Dirección General de Servicios de Salud Pública de la Ciudad de México, Jorge Alfredo Ochoa Moreno. One of the signs said “we demand our 2021 uniforms”, i guess this has been a problem for a while.

Walked through a Catholicism mall of some kind. Saw a guy walk right through it smoking a cigarette and then when he got out the other side he put his mask on before stepping onto the street and throwing the cigarro on the floor.

There are toilets everywhere in CDMX, unlike London, though they cost $5. I’ve been told that part of the reason there are no toilets (and bins) in City of London is that they don’t want the IRA putting bombs in them. I try to remember when i am diabetically moments from bursting that it is the fault of my ancestors for invading ireland.

Feeling so disconnected from everyone around me makes the smallest moments shared feel so grand. walking behind a man, and we both reached out at once to touch a metal bench that was roasting in the sun, wondering how hot it was. i whispered “yo también”

It’s so hard to get small money. I changed my blog url. I can’t really choose between chee.club, chee.news, chee.party and chee.party. currently they all work and redirect to chee.party.

Checked out of hotel 1 and into hotel 2 on Friday. The new place is huge. it has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and a kitchen and the kitchen has a gas stove (¡¡¡el horno!!!) and a coffee maker machine and a refrigerator. It's very cute, and warm. I made a lot of good meals. I hope i am back in the mood to cook again when I get home on tuesday. I look forward to making enchiladas de mole, and elotes.

On Saturday morning i learned the immaculate conception is when mary was conceived and is not the virgin birth.

I started thinking about that time in january 2020 that i had the worst flu of my life and couldn't breathe properly and took 13 days off work, and then my ex caught it from me and had to come home from work because he couldn't breathe. and then how a few months later i noticed my feet and hands getting numb sometimes which turned out to be diabetes. and how longboy covid increases your chances of getting diabetes threefold.

At the festival i cried the whole time Snow was on stage. I cried and sang along and danced a little. I was so dehydrated when she got off and I wandered and wandered.

They underestimated the popularity of the battery rental stand, and so the very beautiful people there spent their whole night disappointing people. when i was 2nd in line, a girl in a yellow paisley bandana in front got a bad batería and then joined the back of the queue like an absolute sweetheart. i didn’t notice at first then i was like WTF darling you shouldn’t be punished for a bad battery and told her to get back in front of me. moments later she got a battery with a 3 light charge. I would never get more than a 1 light battery, i would never get more than 2% charge from the 1 light batteries with faulty cables they gave me. I will never be polite again for as long as i live. I had a lovely time in the line for the battery stand. I made great friends at the Fiesta Batería.

i hope i never forget the guy at the entrance to the PLUS area who helped me when i was disoriented; i hope i never forget the girl with mickey mouse hair behind the bar at the raised platform area, or the fella there too; i hope i never forget the people who were kind to me.

The festival was in Parque Bicentenario which is very, very beautiful; all full of trees (some of which i tasted), and cactuses and hills and it was beautiful. It has a chinampa, a lake, an orchid garden... for some reason there are these little super-steep stone ramps for getting between the areas and at the precipice each time i thought “i’m not going to make it”.

Towards the end of the festival i was standing with 5 lads all called Chris, they were passing around a bag of coke and we were watching Wu-Tang Clan. I set my drink down and walked away. I wandered over towards the pink stage and sat down on the grass. Somebody sat down beside me. I’m not clear on what happened next but soon we were sitting with our legs entangled looking each other right in the eyes and talking very rapidly, very excited. She would say she would be going to find her friends, but instead we would sit there with one another and talk and talk and talk. Arca was on stage, who we both wanted to see, but we continued to sit there and talk to one other. She gathered herself together and got up and went to “check it out”. She said she’d be back and i said OK. shortly after, i gathered myself together and got up and said my farewell to her, to the crowd. I started to walk away but found myself standing face to face with her again. My throat was very dry. We went to a bar, I asked if they had pulque. I got two beers. We walked and talked, we met her friends for a moment and then we walked and talked some more and met more of her friends for a moment and walked and talked and walked and talked some more. We went to A$AP Rocky. talked and talked. we left the parque together and walked and talked and talked and talked. We held hands for a little, it felt natural, it just happened. We sat outside talking until like 5am. We got a taxi together, it left me at mine and took her to hers. She told me “i did not miss arca.” and “i did not miss my friends”. I told her “it was so nice to finally meet you”, and she said “finally, exactly”, and i will miss her.

On Sunday I read Valeriya’s tarot and then slept for hours. so dehydrated. you know how your body temperature is raised during a hangover? and the dehydration? these are less fun even than normal in the Spring climes of México city. i slept a lot. I’ll be flying home tomorrow and back to work on Wednesday, though i did just pour michelada all over my computer and break it so that’s a shame. Tomorrow I’m going to try to go to a bar near that girl’s old high school and drink pulque. She wrote down about it in my notebook.

I’ve made a savings pot called “Return to CDMX.”

It's good that the world didn't end.