i had walentine's day off, and i decided to get drunk and go for an adventure. i ate some wheat, foolish me. feel like i've been poisoned! hungover for days. hahaha. oh well, oh well. fever, clog and doubt. i hope we're all learning some lessons.

why are half the youtube videos in my next up a man looking somber into the camera with his hands clasped with the caption “Why I stopped eating rice krispies after midnight”. 
staring at me with the eyes of an apology video “Why I’ll never look at the moon again”

my op-1 field started dying, gotta send it back to Sweden. i tried to fix it and made it worse. i'll be getting something new for our trip to Lizard. it's next friday. the next update will come from the bottom of england's tail end.

watching some recently uploaded rap battles. soul khan still has it.

it's so much work to figure out who you are. when something is so beautiful that you can't quite express it, that's about as good as you can feel. i watched all of this man's videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSpl4DVFsQU. i really highly recommend it. they are strange and unspeakably beautiful. i am in love with this man.

my days and nights have been spent organizing samplepacks and making multisample synths and kits so that when i get the Synthstrom Deluge i will hit the ground running. i've forked the firmware and added a patch.

that balance between what you need and what you want... that's hard, but it's nothing compared to balancing your short term from your long.

i joined the discord voice chat dev huddle for the Deluge open source project. it seems very cute. i'm a really big fan of these people, and of this software and hardware. many are trannies.

i’ve learned that if you believe that everything will turn out well then in the bad times you're like “that’s ok! i’m just getting to the good times!" and in the good times you say “hell yeah! told you so!”

tonight i went out for a walk with a microphone. i needed to pee so i hopped on a train. i hopped off at the next station. i played the piano. i met a man who'd once successfully pleaded not guilty against charges under the obscene publication act. he didn't introduce himself to me that way, but i independently learned that to be true. he was very kind and interesting and friendly and i promised to come over to his house and make him a cup of tea. he will introduce me to his pianist. and i finally went to Lebanese Express #1. fine vine leaves at that restaurant.

and it's hard to give somebody what they need if it isn't what they want. or what you want.

i hope i'm well enough to work tomorrow. but if i'm not well, well, that'll work.

it's 1am, by mistake. i'll eat a little snack and drink a little more and then wake up where i'm sitting now. this weeks' gonna be stupid but next week'll be fire.