week 42 of 2024

reminder for next week (for me):

timezone: america/los_angeles
date-locale: es-US

It was another light week. I played video games at night, and went to sleep early, and woke up late. It’s as though I am catching up with all the sleep I’ve missed throughout my life over these past few weeks. It’s as though I’ve aged two decades in a couple of months. I’m tired and my skin is dry and my bones are creaking.

And perhaps a new dadaism. There’ll have to be some way to prove you’re human, to yourself, to the people ike you. CV dazzle for the soul. All that talk, all the spaces.

My todo list for Los Angeles has items such as “taco truck la carterra” and “ask everyone if they work in pictures”. I’m not very much in any way prepared to fly or to talk to people or have fun or be fun. A light really has gone out in me, and I can’t recall exactly how to find the switch. I’ll keep on fumbling around in the dark and hope that i realize what i’m touching if i brush up against it. I tried drinking a little tequila y cerveza but it just made me feel sick and so i threw up and went home.

The door slammed shut, the car engine rumbled warmly and barked and drove off. i heard footsteps coming back up the stairs, but it wasn’t anything for me. the doorbell rang. two pizzas for the neighbour. i pressed the flat five buzzer for him and returned to my empty apartment and sat back down on the sofa. my lips were still ringing. i felt like a piece of paper that had been crumpled up and thrown in the bin. “fuck it,” i thought, “i’ve always been alone.”

All in all, the week ahead looks just fine from where i sit right now. tomorrow i’ll pack, get all my things together in the green overnight bag. 7 jumpsuits and a dress and some underpants and socks and a couple of camisetas y chaquetas. it’s set to be sunny most days, and i’ll be at the conference when i’m not drinking tequila. on saturday there is the ink and switch unconf in the morning and the Snow Tha Product halloween party at night. the week after that i have no hotels booked, and no plans at all. perhaps i’ll visit Long Beach or hop the border at Tijuana or climb up the H of the Hollywoodland sign like Peggy and go for a walk.

I’ll have a half a dazzy and a red bull and head back to bed.

happy birthday to martin gardner