week 49 of 2024

tough one this one. it’s a little nippy here in Toscana. 5°C and Drizzle.

let me tell you: life is good, but there are some drawbacks. i’m enjoying it, but i’m not sure i could recommend it to anyone else. it’s good, though. it’s good.

my notes for this week start with the note “the thing to know about Zonker is she’s out of my league.” and a meditation on how it has a way of crumbling the bricks. do you like the word crumble when used as a verb. and if holy people don’t reïncarnate wont earth eventually be hell

i passed a brass band playing outside the church, and stopped and listened, and then i ate a battered sausage with chips.

though it is nice to be in a loving relationship i must admit it has been difficult to adjust to the loss of favour with the checkout girl in my local grocer. we’d developed something of a rapport. nothing much, a little back and forth and whatnot. pleasantries. but since i entered the place with someone things have been markedly frigid.

when i was a kid “frigid” was a word like virgin but for someone who had never kissed. it looks it’s mostly used to mean someone disinterested, but in northern ireland it meant someone who’d never kissed even if they wanted to.

on the train platform i eavesdropped on a group of Grade L Lads.

he’s all face no chat. all face. no chat. he’s gone to budapest, met a bird, first thing he does is he thinks “i’ll send a text to the group chat.” he’s a prick mate.

— he’s not a prick but he looks like an IT Professional

if you’ve got a chance to shag a single mum every wednesday why are you saying no? nah nah nah, she was nice mate, she was nice. show him the picture. see? she’s a dish. she comes home every wednesday and that’s all she wants. she’s a dish. BELLA!!! if i have to describe her she was 20 years on nora kensington with blonde hair. she was a good looking girl

it’s torture that nature made us love in different ways. to expect love the way we show it, and show it how we want it, and then to love people who love different.

“you tried to kiss him actually” said the little voice on the far side of the phone. and i was a ghost haunting my own body. something’s happened again, and not for the first time. it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be a lot of work.

on Saturday i left Zonker at the toy airport, then I went downstairs for a long yellow and a flat white. i made a little music. why is it so hard to get out of airports on foot? just give me a little path.

the DLR replacement bus has wide sills on the windows wide enough to prop your arm. i pop my arm up there. comfortable. i nod approvingly. small details like this can really make a day feel worth taking on. they didn’t take any payment. maybe the DLR really is supposed to be free.

i’m in tuscany now. it’s been a long couple of days. i drank tomato juice with worcestershire sauce on the plane. i a gluten free pizza. everything is going to be okay, as long as we get off the sauce.

i’m exhausted, tomorrow is the hedgehog’s birthday. you know what that means.

the laptop nearly fell on my face twice, i keep falling asleep typing. i’ll read a little (i just finished a good book that Sunbird recomended called “Whale Music”. i really enjoyed it. now i’m ta-nehisi coates’s the message). i’ll see you again. i wrote something good down in my notebook i wanted to type up, but it’ll have to be next week.

i love you, i’ll be thinking of you as i eat cheese. the night music has started playing in my mind, louder than light or anything. i’d better get out of here before the whole dream kicks in.