lb got married. Congratulations, lb. Even bigger congratulations to Al who has convinced one of the world's most pure and perfect people to marry him.

YOU SAVE MONEY

at our

DRUG STORE

Let's see. How did the week begin? Me and Ivy and Beano had a little breakfast, and then we off to the airport and bid farewell fairly well at the terminal entrance. Through security, a breeze. And open Maps.app to see the journey from the airport to the shroom dispensary. There's the oldest one in Canada, so probably there.

NO

DANCING ON THE TABLES

And on the plane they let us in the emergency row know... with a level of sweetcute calm i think an unbefitting vehicle for the nature of the information, "the window'll fall in towards you and you can just throw it on out and climb out after it".

So we went up above the mountains and i listened to Geechi's third against Ave because i was in the mood to cry. Have you ever listened to that? It's good to find out if you're stone. Good heavens, clouds above the mountains.

Money is not Everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

Fear and Loathing in British Colombia

Though i did enjoy when that old guy was walking down the street with his wee earbuds in, scatting along. And i did enjoy when that troubled young man in the middle of the street shouted "shut up, shut up! you're being reduntant. And redun-dan-cy's no Fun-For-Me🎶" at nobody at all. And I did enjoy that extremely wiggly girl in Canada's First Shroom Dispensary. Ermine from the neck down.

And maybe it's me. Something missing? Pure exhaustion. Maybe I'll feel different after a night's rest. Maybe it'll be like Pokémon Hospital and i'll curl into my ball and it'll say "doot!doot!doodle-dee🎶" and i'll wriggle back and forth and wake ready to fight another day. But, right this moment? It feels like the facade itself. Like Neom or the Line. Surrounded by ghouls. Too clean in the wrong way, dirty in the wrong way too. I feel as though I'm standing inside Claude. I've entered the simulacra. That being said, the dispensary girl was extraordinarily slinkity, and knowledgable about mushrooms and in possession of a cursive middle. Maybe i'm missing something. There are wigglesome stoatesque shroom deities here. Maybe i'm missing something. Something else must account for the pure lack.

You don't have to be crazy to work here...
WE'LL TRAIN YOU!!!

Dreadful time trying to check into the hotel. They told me to telephone a URL. Couldn't take my card because it wasn't Canadian. I went back to the airport. Trapped. Got a hotel in Richmond. Slipped & tripped and hurt my little knees.

In the morning, hotel breakfast reminds me of abandoning someone in a moment of need, in some darkest moment. The news is on. Headline "17-year-old says his brand new camera stolen at Canada's Wonderland". Not a murder in the whole country, maybe. I'm on the opposite coast, a world away. Oh, Canada's Wonderland though... what a good idea.

At the end of the day i'm just a heffalump looking for my woozle. I wrote "big peeping through slats town" down in my notebook with a pencil, after the second sighting. One across the road from McDonald's Main Street. The other outside the first third wave. Shortly after writing it, I walked around the corner to where there was a building site with boardings that had built-in peeping slats with text all around inviting people to come and peep.

Met up with Brooklyn. Had a coffee, and a walk, quite lovely. Then went to stay in a little house by Trout Lake called Trout House. There was a very pretty cat, who appeared to be my hostess. She was very calm and friendly.

hi there, you will find your keys hidden under the cat

Every time I walk into a restaurant or a shop, everyone turns and looks at me like I've interupted them in the middle of a conversation. There was a nice group in the gay park who were paying the correct amount of attention to dogs. But nothing has dispelled the sense of alienation. I am without within this town. What's going on here? What flavour is it?

i was on the Granville Street Pedestrian Zone when it clicked. They had a little 4 square metre area of "public disco". I'm staring at the faces of the people within its bounding box. I know this facial expression, I know this emotion, what is it? Oh, yeah. yah. That is the face of somebody trying to have the appropriate amount of fun. They know they're meant to be having fun. But they aren't yet. They're trying to force it. But without going overboard into an inappropriate amount of fun. Next to it there was a piece of wall, just a bit of wall in the middle of street signposted "graffiti wall" and you could take a spray can on a string and spray on it.

This whole fucking city feels like a work social.

i got a little cherry tattoo on my left wrist outer. Might have to start smoking cigarettes again. taco bell and a cherry tattoo in the granville street pedestrian zone. An immaculately dressed older lady came up to me in the train station and told me she loved my outfit. She was wearing a black and white patterned blouse, white pants, white shoes and had bright red round frames. Goddess. I raided a Shopper's Drug Mart for every one of its Maybelline Cherry Lips Baby Me.

what about a "chamber"?

Tronto is what i would call a pet animal that had a little round body and a big head with a nose like a parsnip

take to the water the light from the sun

On Wednesday Mike took me and Boris out on a boat to an island called Galiano where Avi has a solar powered catamaran coastal cruiser. I had a Michelada. Had a lot of questions and some statements. But, that would have broached Forbidden Subject #2 (and occasionally #1), a breach i couldn't do.

There was a little seal after all. I told him about Lily using psychic tweets. He bobbed his little head. Perhaps they've met off Shetland. Afterwards we* went to a shell beach and ate some fancy spaghetti flavoured potato chips and looked at a red tree with a different name a little further down the coast.

*(Mike, Boris, me - not me & seal)

The boat trip home my phone died and i was up the front being shaken violent from side to side and top to bottom, crash and splash of the ocean against my face and going through it all - think a little about that little thing - and all of it, that were oil pastel slime scrawl over everything - grey glue i'm looking through, living through - armour steel chamber layer holding me still without any kinds of feelings - living a few minutes (hours, days, weeks) before and after the moment that i'm really in at once. sun-kissed and shaken loose, i cried my little eyes out. bawling, salt splash crashing onto boat & body. think of it: what it means, what it means means. it’s gonna be like that and be like that unless you ruin everything and what would you gain? from here the city looks like little cows standing in a field together. and i look like a strawberry now. and when we got to the dock someone had parked in mike's spot. he pushed the enemy boat out into the water and i winched it back up into its own home next door. a full body work out, and the soul, and a motion i associate with opening river locks or something being wringed right through a clothes mangle.

Saw a kingfisher.

Mike let me stay in his guest suite after dinner, which was very kind and probably saved me $250.

and i look like a strawberry now.

plane spoken

Aug 20, 2026 at 3:36 PM EDT | 24°C Clear | Calgary International Airport, Calgary AB

Back in Calgary for an hour. Picked up a magazine about doggies and a coffee. Onto the next plane, there was a baby beside me and in front of me. Everybody was excited to see the babies. It was very sweet, babies being passed around to strangers to bounce on the lap and say hello baby. Everybody on the plane is pretty and cute and smiley.

And then here we are in French Canada. Not such to say. Met elliot.website for coffee and was given a gift of a drawing of an ermine which was very sweet and i had a very nice time. i hope elliot.website did too. bought some beaver socks with maple leafs on em.

Then in the evening there was a party at lb's house with her and al's family and all of their lovely beautiful friends of whom i am already extremely fond. I was assigned a task, which i was glad of. To put on records when the records ended. I went with Neil Young's On The Beach, a Vashti Bunyan record and Nilsson Schmilsson. Sweet Erin drove me around the whole of Quebec to find some all-dressed Ruffles. There was a queue in the last open gas station in the province. Everyone was silent, holding strange things.

the wedding

And the next day was the wedding. A beautiful ceremony in a beautiful place with beautiful people. I cried a lot at the love, there was so much love. An abundance. It was so nice to see this person (a person who knows me better, probably, than any other person on earth. 12+ years of hearing more about what exactly was going on w/ me than anyone else), it was so nice to see her surrounded by so much love. Almost as much as she deserves. An asymptote. The speeches were great. All of them. Al's mother Gene in particular gave forth something beautiful. But, all of them. And i thought about some of the things i'd thought about on the boat, and reached different conclusions and cried different about them than on the boat. And on the bus on the way home i closed my eyes and found some other feelings shifting around inside my body.

In the morning, before the wedding, the man working the desk had called me “Mr Rabbits” which i did not like one bit and i wished to leave the country. But then the bus driver called me Mademoiselle and now i will consider moving to Quebec. I sat down on the bus and listened to the older family members talk through about storms and the Nickel City Cheese just a few kilometers up the road that makes all these cheese curds round here. The other cheese factory closed. It had the best curds. Once you go down south they’re like fake cheese curds down there, don’t have the squeak. It’s so nice to listen to them talking about storms, cheese curds and ginger ale. The white cream soda is too hard to find. Stewart’s cream soda is the one to get, the white one. And their root beer.

And during the wedding for a while i sat outside listening to the sounds. A little anxious, a little sad. The moon moves so fast here.

today

15	🛫🏩

16	🐯🫛🦓🧀🍃🏩

17	✈️🏩

18	🍄🍏🌊🐈‍⬛🏡

19	🚤⚓🏖️🌞🐚🏡

20	✈️🚕🏩

21	🏩☕☭👯‍♀️🐿️

22	👰‍♀️🏩🥰

23	🏩

	📍 YOU ARE HERE 📍

24	🚘! 🚌? 🏩?

25	🚍? 👑?🎢?

26	🎢???

27	🚍🏠??

28	🚍🐦⚾🧢(🏩?)

29	🏩???

30	🛫🛬 London :S 🪰

31	¿🏙️☕M:)? 

01	oh no

02	i don't want to do this

03	might be nice

04	oh no, i don't want to do this

05 🪵🐛🐈?

It's Sunday today. We're at about the halfway point. It's good that it was today. An overwhelming sense of relief. And a little grief. But the grief is gentle - slow release. Most's relief. And it feels as though there's somebody inside me perfectly folding sheets. I'm so at peace. Standing, looking out over the river, and I'm tingling on the lock. It almost stings, and starts to rain. Let's go and find some eggs and coffee and write. A couple hours before, I'm in a Korean shop in the mall looking at a wall of ear rings and bracelets. And I feel the sudden punch of it, and my thoughts shift to that little thing. But, oh, but... oh..! In the body, then the mind. That reminds me: anxiety and hangovers. And next door i'm in the Swatch store, bracelet watch like little candy niblets, little pez. There it is again. You know, but... it's in the body. That would seem like a done deal, except...

Maybe I've just got an overabundance of that overwhelming feeling of pure love as a natural fact of life, and some subconscious process is trying to rationalize it by attaching it to people. Like how anxiety does with memories of last night. If that’s the case then maybe i can separate them, that's worked with anxiety in the past. Let it live where it is in the body, and i'll go hang out somewhere else until it's done. But maybe in this case i want to stay right where it is but let it shiver everywhere and bloom instead of turning the nozzle and cutting off all the holes and getting one hard stream blasting against a single spot at a pressure nobody involved wants at all. Exploring the Top Five Spray Pattern Types; How To Detect Nozzle Wear. And it was fast after this, because i have some of the tools from a similar job before. And the tingling: i can feel the water rushing in the river, and the people around me and i could jump up on the lock and smell the rain coming, feel the rain coming, and see the sky about to rain.

if you're a chee rabbits fan you aren't a fan of me, you're a fan of yourself

it's scrappy, all of it, because it should seem easy

oh but i can't write this right now, i'm all out of phase

but - wow, there are zero thoughts at all - there was meant to be a bit there that's a.. it needs, that kind of, when it gets reweaved...

i've been completely taken out by a salt and vinegar crisp

it's so unbelievable to me, every time, before interfacing directly with a salt & vinegar crisp, that it could break a whole day

but then, crunched up with that, why more?

and then a lattice?

and then to carry on, you are inside the sound of a gun reloading in the coop?

waving.

so soon, one slice of romaine like that fat tapir sleeping.

the start of the week was nervewracked. but, there's a rule for the fortnight that means there's no way to dip into that stuff. then i packed my bags and got on the plane. the secret to life is to keep yourself about 2013 kanye without teetering over into 2023 kanye. so i'm going to start randomly shouting walt disney at the end of sentences.

used to hit the kitchen light, weird mice everywhere

now i hit the kitchen light, weird flies everywhere

i feel like, Jeezy, you might've made it. but i have all these little flies. weird ones. i went for lunch ice cream at a company's office and picked up a little spoon with nikhar. and slept quite poorly trying to give myself jet lag before i get onto the plane. and does anybody know what the inverted king of swords really means?

i've been making a little native rich text application for the mac and ios to take notes in for my trip. it syncs with automerge, and runs patchwork tools too. i made a change to it just before i left that drains the battery pretty bad on the phone. i guess i'll deal with that in September.

the zoo was so nice with the little bean and a butterfly went on me and we saw some red pandas and they were nice. and afterwards we went to the roasterie. i've been trying to write but i can't be careful inside my mind because i'm all fuzzed out. there was a hound on the Lizard on the way to Heathrow who looked just like razzmatazz who licked my tears on the couch when sían died. and i was early for the flight. and i got a tattoo after the zoo. and i brought astrid a rabbit from harrods. and downloaded some lux, rum, jaz, solomon. got pretty mousesick on the plane, it's a long flight. but then we landed and there were purple flowers, maybe thistles, fighting yellow flowers on the hill. they're strangled round each other, maybe kissing. and then at the roasterie that gentleman with the line on how life and light are linked "inextricibly" and the dna helix ends with telemirrors that pulse 100,000 times a second, that forests have the most "coherent light" and there's "a burst of light and then there's a corpse". it was unfortunate, the turn towards Churchill, white replacement, satanic pedophiles and fauci. and then that jesus loves me, "we're inside each others heart coils" which emanate "12ft square or infinite" and when you "speak your lifebreath into a word that's a three dimensional container for electromagnetic packages"

and so a wander through somebody else's memories, and they're the shape of memories. that's like a rollercoaster or a picturebook, or bitter food or mythology. i mean, "what's this little brass monkey, is he a samovar" and is this with an f or a ph? it's almost inevitable, but... the coffee won't work. merecat on the inside and fat tapir on the out. i really havent slowed down in well over a year, i've forgotten how to connect with when the wind pushes leaves or the rain falls. it's like that goo, nothing's ever the only thing on my mind. the last moment i can remember was the taxi after the train. looking into the dark, looking into the rain. "that's as far from me as i am from it", that old brick, but we were born in different centuries. i felt at peace, like this is perfect. but then it ramped up again, didn't it? and up and up and up. expectations every day, the pulling.

sorry

for this so long and lacking. we've been to the zoo. there was a red panda. i am extremely tired. i'm getting on a plane again tomorrow. there's been thunder, there's been flashing lights. we all hid out in the safeway entrance, me and everyone in calgary. until bicycle man came in with the scaring-the-hoes energy asking if we were all waiting the bus. seemed innocent enough, but it cleared everyone out in a rush. and i'm getting on a plane again tomorrow. to Vancouver this time. it was so nice to see Ivy and Beano.