🐰chee cherries quiet party

week 2; 2022

  • Continued to be full of mucus for most of the week
  • Went to an art night at a squat on Wednesday, let someone use my hand as a brush
    • walked with them to the bus, and got the bus, and stood around in the cold
    • it was nice
  • On Friday night i tried to fix my sleep schedule (which was beat up by covid)
    • i went to bed at 9p.m.
    • i woke up at 2a.m. on Saturday and couldn’t get back to sleep
    • eventually at around 6a.m. i gave in and i made some spaghetti 🍝 with cream cheese and bacon
  • On Saturday I went to see The Matrix with Christabel. I enjoyed the movie. Christabel did not.
    • there was no price paid, so it does not resolve well. kind of feels like the first half or first third of something.
  • Afterwards we went to a Wetherspoon’s (The King’s Tun)
  • If a friend needs 3 no-strings-attached utility hickeys to prove to the people at work they live an interesting life, it’s perfectly normal to just give them 3 no-strings-attached hickeys there in the pub as a friend and then to feel normal about it
  • While I was there, I was invited to a birthday party
    • They didn’t have any vegan birthday cake so I got some from Waitrose, and some candles from a corner shop and travelled with it on public transport from Kingston to Tottenham
  • I forgot to download any music before the journey, so I listened to 1 song on repeat
  • One day recently i had some social anxiety and a voice told me “hey: nobody knows why you’re doing what you’re doing” and it’s unlocked some kind of super-power and i haven’t had social anxiety since.
    • let me see if i can explain it in a way where you don’t need to be inside my head: you ever find yourself doing something that you know looks insane, but you have a reason to be doing it so you don’t feel weird about it?
      • like you are doing it for a joke, or a favour?
      • or maybe you’re buying a HUGE amount of yoghurt, but you’re going to a yoghurt party and normally you’d be like “wow that’s too much yoghurt to buy”, but now you’re like “hey i’m going to a yoghurt party”
      • yeah well basically nobody knows you’re NOT going to a yoghurt party
        • nobody ever knows that whatever you’re doing that you’re not going to a party for that.
    • well, anyway, dancing alone on the underground
  • I spent all night at the birthday party until 7a.m. playing boardgames
    • I got a taxi home
    • I slept all day
    • My sleep schedule is still in disrepair, but hopefully salvageable
  • it’s PITCH BLACK in there. you can’t see ANYTHING.

✨

on the way into the cinema screen someone warned us “it’s pitch black in there, you can’t see ANYTHING”

sick of being a nerd i want to be a FREAK

week 1; 2022

listening to digicore

I spent most of the week having coronavirus. Yesterday I got a negative lateral flow test so I will be allowed to go outside a week from now. I’m still so tired and full of mucus. I can feel it, so sticky and heavy in my lungs and nose and throat. It feels like it’s everywhere. except my belly which contains curry.

I’m still trying to figure out how to make music, but it may involve more cassette tapes and diving back into the electronic music I made for biiiy on slsk in 2006.

Christabel came to my door and left a care package of oranges and limes and painkillers when I couldn’t go outside. I cried.

I cried a lot this week. Hormones all over the place from COVID. Maybe it’s not covid. Maybe it’s not hormones. Did you know that there are baseball teams that have real life dogs as their mascots? There’s a baseball team that was voted best stadium experience in South Carolina because after they hit a home run, the labrador does a lap around all the bases. Everybody cheers. Doggy is so popular but doggy doesn’t know. One time when one of them retired it was driven around the stadium in a little powered kart and everyone in the stands cheered and clapped for it. doggy doesn’t know

I got a new musical instrument, it’s an Arturia Microfreak. It is very pretty and makes strange and wonderful noises.

Last week I wrote properly for the first time in nearly a decade, hoping I can do more of that.

Sometimes people who appear to be giving you advice are lying to themselves, telling you something they wish was true about themselves

I installed Twitter for a few days. But then I pressed “Show more replies” and had to delete it again.

I’m lonely, but less lonely being alone than the last time I was locked down with someone who’d stopped loving me a year ago.

I got this lovely 2022 moon calendar https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1141728967/2022-moon-phase-calendar-green. I recommend that you get one as well.

yeah, I guess not much happened this week because I spent most of it lying on my sofa watching videos on my phone. I need some oxygen.

do you think when I’m 93 I’ll be able to dance like dick van dyke

in 2021 everyone learnt the word liminal and the prefix ur-