which is worse: being told βyouβre muted by the wayβ or being murdered ?
week 44; 2022
on halloweβen i hid inside my house. i sent some people post cards typed on the typewriter, and sent orla foster a letter typed on yellow paper. happy birthday orla. got a nokia 3210 in the post, taught it colonel bogeyβs march. did some work, it went well. i was ahead of schedule but then i tortoise and hared it and now iβm behind schedule again. itβs all good. good things happening at work. feeling helpful. itβs nice.
went out for dinner with miss mccrispy at garlic & shots. had garlic, had shots. ate several bulbs. laughed plenty. mccrispy and i won over an incredibly unimpressed waiter by the end. went shopping at the graphic centre for paper and tape. went to ace & tate and i picked some frames, but i havenβt been able to get them yet because i didnβt bring my whole prescription. going for a pair of gold dust large ninas.
met sofia at the airport. we went for dinner and wandered around for hours. dinners and breakfasts and wandering around; never quite managed to get drunk. lots of city left. iβm really sleepy today. itβs good. i havenβt done so much in such a short time in so long. but i need to get better at explaining when i need to be alone or focus on something.
anyway, itβs time for the end of the night.
x
huh how weird it looks like allowing companies to decide what speech was good and what was bad has backfired
week 43; 2022
not much left in this year
- i think if there was a pill that would kill me in exactly 300 days but had no other symptoms, i would take it
- it would be so much easier to budget my time if i knew how much i had
- iβd take all my credit out and quit my job
- maybe i should just pretend iβm going to die at the end of every quarter of the year
- iβm sitting outside on the New Bench.
- a little old lady at the church just invited me inside to see some adults getting baptized. βtheyβve got a bishop coming downβ! i asked coming down from where but she did not know
- there are a lot of people turning up now. i guess itβs huge
- wild to get baptized so close to all hallows.
- i wouldnβt open myself up to be entered by God when there are so many other spirits so close to the Earth
- a girl at work gifted me a typewriter this week. iβve written two postcards on it that are on their way to North America. let me know if you want to go on my christmas card list
- my posts have been late and shorter the past few weeks because iβm far away from myself. itβs winter soon, the nights have drawn all the way in, i donβt know what it will be like. iβve done poorly in recent winters. iβll need a project, a routine, a clean and tidy household, irish stew.
- been thinking about fighting a deer to the death. seems like i shouldnβt eat an animal if i wouldnβt be able to deal with the unalienated reality of it.
- i like it when you say hello to a dog in the street and it kisses you with a sniff
- sofia is coming to london for a month. itβs hard to understand whatβs right and wrong out here so far beyond tradition. all i figure i can so is be as honest possible and then leave people to make their own decisions, thatβs what it looks like i thinkβ¦
- i had a dream last night where i was trying to express something to some people in the same dream (weβd all arrived in this one dream) but as i was talking it i stopped being able to speak, my mouth stopped working like it was injected with a analgesic so i made some paper and a pen (we all knew we were dreaming) and i wrote down βdonβt worry about the rules: figure out what you want and then figure out how to get it as quickly as possible while introducing the least amount of new pain into the worldβ but in the dream that only took 9 words
- can you believe itβs only 6p.m.?
- bye
i am awake by mistake
if time travel ever exists there just not be very much time left because otherwise now would be so busy
letβs get drunk and listen to quiet party