it's also the anniversary of the unpleasant cultural shift
if you would be interested in a television show about magick yet also about
debt, and about community and about capitalism, not dark or gritty but still
deep and touching, with lots of subtle and precise humour, with plenty of
patterns and hints and sacred numbers, with a great storyline, and a great
cast i would like to recommend Lodge 49. it's really really good. it's
uplifting.
as well as plain jokes, some of it is the kind of stuff Spike Milligan
would find funny like a regular object just being slightly bigger than
expected or a very carefully chosen word
i need to book a hotel. right now i only have a flight and it's less than 3
weeks away. i'll be landing at 4am!
i keep getting sick
ok so i didn't realize the bitcoin currency symbol was added to unicode in
2017
which
fine whatever, however
check this out:
₿-)
i'm wearing fancy little glasses
people love saying “everything is gonna be OK” but actually we’re all gonna
die
this is funnier than it should be Top ten numbers from 1-10 | Letterman |
YouTube- if you make an effort to get out of
your house as soon as possible every morning, that's very helpful. just the
first thing you gotta do is get outside for 10 mins as soon as you can, it
really helps make the day work
went to a conference workshop on Monday. they had no food i could eat, i got
really hungry. afterwards i went around for a while and drank and talked to
strangers. learnt that there is a point when i stop wanting to enjoy people and
start wanting something from people and that's when everything goes wrong. have
to stay under that number of drinks from now on. i will be 2 pints drunk at all
times from now on.
Tuesday I worked and slept. jimena got a haircut, it looks cute. she's like a
happy little berry.
Wednesday I worked and slept. We had a date, i slept through it. i felt terrible
about it.
Thursday i started to feel ill. i worked and slept. I had a bath, and at one
point in the bath i became aware of something: i was going to shit and vomit. it
was an emergency, literally, something was going to emerge from me. i scrambled
out of the bath. my foot hit the floor and when it did i slipped a little. time
stopped. i could see what fate would befall me if i fell: i would have slipped
so i'd hit the toilet bowl and crack my skull while puking and shitting
everywhere and i would have died drowned in my own waste and bleeding from the
skull. glad i caught my balance.
Friday i stayed up late because we had a date. jimena ended up staying out, and
we did not have our date. she felt terrible about it.
Saturday was Benjamin's birthday and we went to Battersea park for Ben's
birthday bash. it was a good time. met some nice new people. didn't spend too
much money. everyone was going to the rave later and i wasn't feeling it (still
a bit sick!!) so i went home and me and Jimena had an impromptu date for about 4
hours. it was really nice and fruitful. felt wonderful about it.
oh i completely forgot to mention. my job has approved my working from Mexico
for 6 weeks starting in July. i booked a flight. 7th. so i'm going back. i'm
very excited. don't know where i'm staying yet. will figure that out soon
enough.
do you ever think, like, you know, they are killing us? protest doesn't seem to
do anything, and is being criminalized? we've seen now with the pandemic that
even if it kills hundreds of thousands of people they will not stop the machine?
they will not change? what option do we have? like what is the actual avenue for
change when it is so urgent? we can't wait to build class consciousness and
solidarity and all those things that take half a century because by that time
we'll be living on a ball of ash? what options are there for real and permanent
change?
here's a photo of a girl with an ArmaLite AR-18 assault rifle
i'm having kind of a rough week, emotionally and spiritually, but it'll be OK.
problem in this town is too many scuttleheads.
i was sick the first couple days of the week. on Wedneday i went to Bromley and got the HPV vaccine. my nurse was very nice, we talked about michael jackson and sonic the hedgehog and really yucked it up.
i've been kind of weird and emotional since, don't know if the vaccine is interacting weirdly with my hormones or not.
spent some of the week researching old tarot card decks.
found out i'd been the victim of a scam, which is a shame. been saving money to make up for it.
making progress towards my Return To CDMX. i think i can still make July work, but it will require deep focus and concentration. i'm Frugal Franny. i'm Thrifty Thisbe. i'm the prudent princess Parsimonious Paloma.
just been tidying and saving and having naps. guess i'll try to go to bed soon.
wow i completely forgot to write a post!! it's okay, it's still Sunday in Mexico
city.
studies
appear to be showing a single dose of the HPV vaccine is nearly as effective
as a 3-dose course?
getting vaccinated next wed
attended an on-line design conf. it was quite good but for me the best part of
a conf is standing outside smoking cigarettes and talking to people about
their work, and that isn't available on-line
made music a lot. can't stop making music based on this one rhythm.
went into the office on Wednesday, eh
on friday night i went out to the office then i went on a big walk all around
and i hungered for some kind of adventure
i stepped into some random bar
turned out the guy who owned it was Venezuelan and the chef was
from... San Salvador, i think.
at one point i was talking to the chef and he suddenly turned around to
the door and shouted QUE PASA COME IN AND DANCE QUE PASA WE HAVE
SALSA
turned out there were two girls outside, who turned out to be
Mexican. he didn't know them he just has some kind of spider sense for
when someone speaks Spanish apparently
they came in and we drank and talked and eventually they closed the
bar and we went into the back to play domino and listen to music in
the dark
gabi and i lost at domino and so we had to dance
stayed until about midnight
anyway it's a great bar and we should all go together
me and Jimena napped together over webcam ay
on Sunday i went to that lewisham sound system trail thing with Becky and
Val. it was good fun. then we went out for jerk chicken.
ay. my life mostly happens happy in the computer atm.
now i need to figure out when i'm going, how to sort it out with work, and
then i need to book a flight.
last Sunday night we went out all night for dinner, beer, cocktails and
tequila. eventually i had to bribe a cop. there's no use pointing fingers. it's
the mature thing to do as the innocent person in the matter not to start
directing blame around the place.
was looking at some pictures of myself. have you ever noticed i look like i'm
trying to sneak the world's largest egg out of a museum? it's not just that i'm
fat, i'm impossibly round. i'm like dr robotnik. i've always hated that
needlemouse. people go to SegaWorld to say hi to Sonic, to shake hands with
Sonic. what the fuck? all he wants is your Power Sneakers that make him fast
enough to break the sound barrier and turn him blue. he'll try to get the Grey
Emerald but fail and then you'll trip over holding a rotten egg, and
chaos energy will spill all over you turning you into an evil egg doctor
like jeff goldblum. he's like 30 years old, it's creepy. I simply don't trust
him.
I've been working from Mexico City and it's been fine. getting up at 5am and
finishing work at 1pm. having breakfast about 7-8am and lunch with Jimena at
2pm. it's a pretty good schedule.
you ever use the powers of empathy and then you're like "geez louise"?
cheemena is good, right? like brangelina?
We had such beautiful nights sitting on the floor and talking, and dancing to
music in the bedroom. OK?
On Tuesday we spent a long time saying goodbye. Too long? ¡Yes! I missed my
flight! I went into the deep dark hole in an airport Chili's but you know it
turned out fine really. though it did eat a big chunk of my July budget.
Wednesday was a lovely day, really. A nice lunch and a good goodbye at a
mall. The last thing she said to me was "see ya", which was a cute throwback to
our first date all those years ago (about 7 weeks ago).
I unexpectedly switched off on Monday. Disconnected from myself. Far away
inside. Not been feeling feelings. Some kind of defence mechanism? Haven't
enjoyed it. Except that one time when I was in the shower and i kneeled on the
floor for 30-40 seconds and cried with 0 thoughts. Then got back up and finished
showering. I enjoyed that. Anyway, the veil seems to be lifting now because I
felt several hundred feelings today. It's been tough as a big Feelings Haver, a
true feelings-head like myself. Anyway, we're back in action now.
Oh yeah I forgot. When I got back on Thursday night I went out with someone from
work and had a drink and a good chat. It was good. Maybe had 1.5 too many
drinks. think I was avoiding going home. i walked home singing The Paris
Sisters' I Love How You Love Me at the top of my voice in the streets. Also
played it (poorly) on the public piano in Lewisham train station.
On Friday I worked, and on Friday night we had a long video call and watched
Derry Girls. trying to find the line between honest and gushy here. but honestly
i'm very gushy, i can barely shut up. i know it was more interesting before when
with the blood and ketamine, but this is what ya got. here is an actual
photograph of me: 🥰
On Saturday i spent a lot of the day napping, and tidying. My sleep schedule is
all ahoot, my apartment is fuckadoodle. Sunday was nappish too. Anyway.
If anyone wants to hang out, text me.
my doctor told me to run 5 miles every day for 2 weeks. I called him up,
“Doc! I'm 70 miles from my house!”
Rodney Dangerfield
before i met my wife i was incomplete, now i'm finished!
i’m locked out of my apartment lmao. this wasn't even me fucking around, it just
happened. i’ve accidentally discovered a bug with the Kwikset keypad where you
can get it to think it is open when it is in fact closed. it’s very interesting
but my shoes are in there.
anyway. let’s talk about my week.
i am so fucking happy. feliz y contenta. ay.
she read my blog all the way back to September and still loves me. i never
really thought about somebody reading all this
(i'm no longer locked out. apartment manager Lety arrived to save me. we love
Lety. she took my batteries though, so now i'm locked in. an exciting new
problem!!)
home of the rave and land of the chee
occult graffiti on balderas near ayunmiento
can’t believe i didn’t mention last week when i told her she could call me and
i would sing for her and she called me and i sang I Love How You Love Me
(accompanied by an op-1 piano pad sound) and she cried. and she told me i have
a beautiful voice and not just when singing, and then i cried
there's a lot to talk about, but i guess i need to start an after hours blog
anyway
some very sweet things have happened, some tears, some beautiful stuff
kinda feel like the whole writers staff of my life has quit or been fired and
now they've hired real cheap replacements. i'm really at fanfic levels of life
events and thoughts right now
anyway
jimena's coming over for laundry and breakfast. it was a really big week, with
a lot of very large and important conversations. can't believe i'm going to be
in London in 4 days.
i worked from Mexico city this week. waking up between 4 and 5a.m. and
checking in on london hours. it went well! this is a schedule i could really
do!!!
get up at 4:30a.m.
tomar mi hormonas y mi medicacíon
send a message into stand-up
work until 7am (about u.k. lunch time)
have breakfast
have a shower
get back to work around 8a.m.
work until lunch time
meet jimena for lunch
come home and make music for a few hours in the daylight
have dinner, drink a michelada, go to bed
¿kind of a dream schedule?
i don't know what the weeks apart will be like, but i have a lot of hope. i
switched to Vodafone so i'd get free data while i'm in Mexico, and i also get
some free international minutes too.
when i get home i'm going to sell a bunch of stuff i don't need
no idea what the next section of my life looks like tbh. but i know what must
be done.
maybe we're past that "let's see what happens" stage and now we're in that
"let's decide what happens" place
started work on the next quiet party album, it's going well. will be
plenty of TR-727 and TB-303. expect a July release. it's called big
waterfall.
i am covered in cuts and bruises from head to toe
going to stay here an extra week
this week has been... beautiful. don't know what to say. we had some lunches,
walked around. had some important conversations. ate some important tacos. i
walked A LOT. my feet are raw. some important structures were built, important
decisions. it's been a very long, very important, very powerful week. but i
don't even know what to say. we just had a lovely time.
On Friday evening she came over and i cooked champ with beef in onion and red
wine gravy with mushrooms and green tomatoes. made some super tropey
memories. i couldn't even ignore it at the time. she brought a bottle of wine,
i was making dinner, we didn’t have a corkscrew so we opened the bottle of
wine with a knife. There was thunder and lightning outside. we had the window
open and the front door open (metal outer door closed). the sound of pouring
rain, holding the bottle still on the kitchen counter while she plunged a
knife into the cork. did not feel real, it felt like when a TV show gets into
its third season and starts introducing scenes showing the characters when
they first met. not a good tv show either. network television. like the
blacklist or something. we didn’t have glasses so we drank red wine out of
these handmade ceramic mugs... sat on the step out the front smoking
cigarettes and talking. eating dinner. thunder and lightning. watched derry
girls later. drank anise and mezcal and wine.
on Saturday morning she did her class while i cooked breakfast and made
music. on Saturday afternoon we went to pick up some v v cute vintage
Sandylion stickers she bought for me. cats and rabbits. i stuck one on my
computer. it has a great energy. we ate hamburgers and she forced me to put
myself first.
anyway... yeah. everything's very chill, beautiful, i'm... it's good.
keep feeling like it's just about to rain.
the hand-made ceramic mugs
the front door
i have this whole superking bed
but we fell asleep in this bottom bunk sharing 1 tiny pillow for some reason
