first 2024

hi everyone:)

Welcome to twentytwentyfour.

On new years’ evening i ended up going to Simmons with some people from work. i kissed the prettiest girl in the world at midnight. facts. periodt.

After the celebration of fire and glitter and paper falling from the ceiling, we left. I really needed to pee but i haven’t been able to bring myself to use the boys since i grew my hair, and i haven’t been able to use the girls since i cut it. so i just sat there bursting.

afterwards me and zaina got some halloumi and houmous and salad and chips and went home. i drank a little, but not much. i enjoyed simmons, exceptionally. it’s fun to be alive.

It’s funny how peoples faces change as you get to know them, and your memories of them before feel like they’re about a different person because of who they are to you and how they look to you.

in the morning when we wake up we set up our diet. it’s like mine from last year, keto + vegetarian + no alcohol. i took a 1 week break between christmas eve and new years so we could celebrate with abandon. it’s gonna be a challenge but isn’t it fun to be in something together? it’s fun, yeah.

israel has locked itself into a death spiral with its policy of reëstablishing deterrence through fearby disproportionate response. its existence relies on the nations around it being afraid, but it’s too much this time, too wanton, too abject. so they are just gonna start world war 3 because they can’t do what is right and they can’t back down. i read one book and now consider myself an expert on the matter.

tuesday we work from home. at work i’m having a little trouble because i haven’t had an easy time focusing for a few months.

all the days are kind of blurred together. a bright happy blur of lilac and white and yellow and pink and blue. it sure can be hard to learn a person while they’re learning you and you’re learning yourself. the good parts are exceedingly good, and the hard parts aren’t bad.

i guess i can’t do this chronologically… i’ll try to start taking notes during the week again… here are things i can remember:

• i cooked

  • i made labneh

  • i made some pretty tasty flatbread with only: eggs, mozzarella, greek yoghurt + an oven

  • zaytoun + za’atar on everything

  • i made a few tasty paneer curries

• it’s nice to fall asleep and to wake up

• i wrote some good songs

• i am extremely happy + relaxed

• there was a little blow up but we fixed it.

  • and she bought me flowers.
    • they’re sitting in water in my teenage engineer field range water bottle on the nightstand.

• lay on the bed working while you pray

• a lovely evening in dim light with snacks

• anxious on thursday evening

i’m so tired right now that i keep falling asleep while i’m typing, and when i keep myself awake my dreams start chattering anyway. i’m that kind of tired where i’m going to start hearing music in my mind as loud as if it’s playing on speakers beside me. i will cook dinner now for when Lucky gets home from her 2 hour walk.

i can never really figure out how to write happy, and i’m not quite ready to think about anything else.

anyway, that’s all i’ve got. i’ll start taking notes.

love you, sport. have a good one. see you. x