A person should always seek to remove more pain from this world than they introduce. I broke that rule last week being selfish, so now I'm back to drinking nothing stronger than buttermilk.

Spent the week watching Gilmore Girls and thinking about my friends. I also started making a piece of music that I'm pretty pleased with so far. I'll attach a demo of it to this post.

On Friday night i dressed up in my cutest cherry jumper and red patchwork dress and went out to Fox & Firkin to meet some friends I haven't seen in a while. I was sober, drinking water. They were on MDMA. They were very friendly and complimentary about my cherry outfit. I met some people I hadn't met before, and they were exceedingly lovely too.

On Saturday I spent the whole day curled up on the sofa playing video games and watching TV. A lovely way to spend a day. Unfortunately at the end of the day I decided it would be a good idea to order myself a pizza. I did not enjoy the pizza, and it spiked my blood sugar a crazy amount. On Sunday I quite, quite foolishly compounded the problem by adding tacos to my body. The tacos were delicious. Really good.

For some completely unknown reason I'd agreed to attend a drum circle in the woods on Sunday night. I'd stayed up incredibly late, woken up early, drank a cup of coffee and then had an unintentional nap. I woke up late. I'd already worn my cutest outfit on Friday, and all my other clothes were dirty. I picked a new outfit and threw it into the machine. I jumped in the shower. I started getting my face ready. Beck Avery text me to ask if I wanted to meet her at a bar right next to the drum circle. This was around the time the high blood sugar started to become a problem. There I am, fuzzy headed, half-naked, face done, hair up, bra on, sitting on the floor in front of the washing machine watching it spin spin spin like the hands of the clock and my feet and hands are tingling with peripheral neuropathy.

Eventually I made it out the door (though my outfit was incomplete because i messed up and didn't put my pink velour sweatpants in there). I took a bus that went all the way from here to there. It's a cute place, never been there before. I met Becky Avery and we had a fun chat, though my eyes and brain were boiling in their own sugar and I was getting very shivery and fluish. I had to cancel on the drum circle, but I waited on a wall until the people I had promised I'd attend showed up so i could tell them i love them and say hello and goodbye.

It's unlikely i'll be able to work tomorrow, i'm cooking all my organs into a hot sweet goulash. I'll need to do some very fast exercise and take some kind of medication that can lower the blood sugar and reduce pain. Así es la vida.

I'm roasting a chicken. I don't really want a chicken, but I have all these vintage pyrexes now and a cute apron and what else am I going to do? Yes, well. It's in the oven now and it smells delicious.

There were a couple of eventful weekends. Several bottles of tequila disappeared inside a rabbit and I visited some bars and made some very fast friends. Entertaining, but brief. It's cute when drunk people tell you they want to keep in touch with you. Even if you tell them to their face that you know this is not going to happen, they're so damned sure… so sure. I made a date, too. But it fell through. There are flowers in a vase on a little table with some birds on it. The pub around the corner houses a robin's nest now, they've placed some old menus against a wall to protect the brooding birdy from hungry fox and kitty cats. The table with the flowers on it, I found that in the street. It's got robins and tits and metal legs. It looks like something my grandmother would have had.

It's getting to be time to have a picnic. I'd love a good reason to buy a cute picnic basket and blanket from Selfridge's. Also a good reason to spend days corning beefs, and boiling eggs and making cucumber sandwiches.

Well I'd better go baste. Good luck.

~ chee

hey babe

OK

i just made a lasagne in my pink daisies vintage pyrex, it's so cute. it's delicious. it's so cute. it looks so cute in its little pink outfit.

i drank several bottles of tequila and text several unexpected characters from my former lives. several exes. currently deep in some chats with some people i honestly never thought i'd speak to again. i've learned that a lot of the things that are interesting about me are symptoms of borderline personality disorder. the week was good. it was fine. i've still been having a hard time actually getting out of the house. part of it is because i remain having very bad skin. at the moment i'm going through a whole thing where my body hair is darker than normal, and my facial skin is thinner and paler than normal. this combines in an unexpected way where i find some dark hair above my lip, try to remove it, and the removal process cuts and bleed and then leaves a moustache made of blood. that's been going on for weeks now. today i tried to even-up my eyebrows and ended up maknig them less symmetrical. I used the wrong tools. i really need a haircut.

i got a couple of new dresses. they are adorable. i look so cute. it would be so fun if i could go outside and look cute outside. a picnic. maybe a picnic would be good.

um… so what do you want to know? i want my money back.

i'm actually very normal and happy.

thanks. love u. bye