i don’t think i believe in alternative universes, i don’t believe anything else could happen.

talking to lb tonight, i think i always assumed i believed in alternative timelines but i learnt that i don’t

i think basically i don’t believe in chance and i don’t believe in choice, but i believe that time moves in both directions and we are all god. which means that functionally there’s no difference between free will and no free will, and that nobody chooses who they are, and that if you started the universe again we’d end up here again by now.

“time moves in both directions“ is not the right way of putting it, that’s the most difficult part to articulate but it’s the reason i can believe that people are the result shape of their brains and their genes and their gut bacteria + everything that ever happened to them in their life (none of this is chosen, so nobody gets to choose who they are) while not being a nihilist.

but it’s like, we are god so when you make a choice it’s happening at the beginning of time, not now.

learning to love EVERYONE under those conditions is also how you can learn to love yourself, because you’re like hey i’m a person too.