please enjoy this velvet underground cover
week 50 - 2023
lmao.
Monday was a light day. Somebody came to my house to kiss me and then threw a pound coin onto my bed and left.
Tuesday was the work Christmas party. It was a lovely night. My favourite moment of the night was when ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮ to me during ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ and we ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ and ▮▮▮▮ "▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮▮ ▮▮▮▮▮ ▮▮" and then we ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮ until the end of the night. It was special. Wet eyes, big smiles.
On Wednesday I was super chill and normal as usual.
On Thursday I learned that I'm a little bitch who can't be trusted. It was tough. I can't actually write about any of the details of this here, my week is full of important events that I can't write about. It's the first time I think I've felt I can't express myself here safely or well. It's the beginning of the end. I guess I'll have to find something else to do.
Let's talk about alchemy. It's the process of turning your dirty leaden soul into beautiful, rich, highly conductive gold. Did you know that "magnum opus" means "great work"? It means the same thing as masterpiece. In order to create your great work, you have to become the person who can create it. The traditional is becoming knowledgeable enough, and clean enough of spirit, to learn to turn iron or lead into gold. But whatever your art is, the great work is to turn yourself into the person who is able to create it via the very process of creating it. It's a single motion; as above so below; as the world so the soul.
I spent Friday in bed. I had one bad phonecall, one good phonecall, some other good things happened. Someone fed me. I headed home.
On Saturday I made a tasty meal with tomatoes and beyond beef mince and fresh fennel and many spices, it was very tasty. I spent the day in bed. Mostly making music. Some hanging out. I made an 8 track quiet party release called "ATTENTION DEADZONE HYPERACTIVITY".
it's mostly mixed, but needs mastered. it's only, like, 9 minutes long. this is what i do now, these little short releases of a few short songs.
Week 50: meeting with the goddess, woman as the temptress, atonement with the father, get the gift, pay the price.
Week 51 better start looking like joy, success and vitality pretty fucking soon.
week 49 of 2023
hey!
look at the week, forty-nine. very nearly the end. i got sick this week, punishment for going into the office last week. it wasn't a particular tough sickness but because i've been being healthy it felt so unfair. normally when i get sick i'm like "yeah, that tracks" because my body is a satanic temple but this time it felt like there was no god. i spent the first few days of it accidentally working with the sick emoji status and texting people to ask them to pity me more. i made a tasty spicy spicy paneer tomato cream curry which partially fixed me, but the main pharmaceutical was pity. i can't believe how little pity i received as i lay there DYING of an extremely mild flu that i was mostly able to work through and ignore. heartless bastards, every last all of you.
i've been making a bit of music with various swedish rectangles. been practising chord changes and scales on the keyboard like i did when i was a teenager to try and get more cozy with the keys so i can talk through it more like i can with a guitar. after the great success of「ANTICIPATION」 i am gazing doe-eyed into the imagined future where i lock myself away in some faraway hotel room with just the op-1 and perform the transmutation stella signata, lucifer, boiling milk + chrysopoeia.
on saturday i met a friend for her birthday. remembering christabel's rule that "if you're the birthday girl + someone doesn't bring you a gift, that means they ARE the gift," i brought nothing at all. it was a lovely time, we walked around in the freezing cold from lewisham to the heath and talked and talked and i drank a shot of tequila at the railway pub which was very loud and busy and christmas. on saturday evening i took a train to london bridge and met a couple of colleagues at the market porter where i drank 3 more shots of tequila. one of the colleagues invited us to hang out at their place and so we went back and we watched the movie wall street and i drank 3 or 4 sips of white wine and ate 5 nuts and two cheeses.
i'm experimenting now to see if it is possible to introduce some alcohol sometimes on special occasions without completely losing track of my otherwise strict health regiment. my limit is 4 shots of tequila OR 4 corona hard seltzers. if i find it making me lax i'll have to cut it all the way out again, we'll see.
Sunday i spent a warm and cozy morning resting. in the afternoon i went to greenwich market with a dear friend. we did a little shopping + had a fabulous turkish lunch. when the sun fell we crossed underground through a hole in the thames, and we walked a while along the river and we talked and talked before we parted ways and headed home.
i got a map of the world to stick on my wall. the listing said "huge" but i didn't really consider that over 2 metres means it's much longer than me.
It's basically actual size.
extremely long
i just finished hanging it in the kitchen where it imposes itself upon me
now i can point at countries where war is about to break out while making eggs
and learn that these are all actually different countries???
merry crincemince it's me caroline the christmas crow deer good tidings and happy hannakuh to my deerly behovèd friends and lovers
big week ahead:. dia de la virgen de guadalupe tuesday. acadian rememberance day on weds. die hard on thurs. and then the last day of chanukah.
every day i seem to become more annoying, yet i enjoy myself also more.
text me!
week 48 of 2023
going to the office three times in a week is very ensleepyifying.
honorary harlem globetrotter heinz kissinger died at the age of 1 century. sadly, we lost poor old shane too. poor old shane. Kent may never produce a better irish poet.
on Thursday night i was meant to see to underscores at heaven. but once i got there, it seemed so tight, and there was a threshold guardian i didn't have the power to defeat so i decided to go home and eat my first meal of the day instead. on the train home i listened to lily's cryptid radio show on edinburgh student radio and at the end she played a quiet party song which was profoundly fulfilling. lily is very good on the radio, very engaging.
i attended to an invitation to my colleague's house to watch the movie wall street. we never watched the movie, i met her brother, we sat on the couch and talked, it was a lovely evening. in the morning we smoked cigarettes in bed like french teenagers and then i took the dlr home. on saturday i slept from 7p.m. until sunday's 7a.m.
and this is where we are now: it's sunday now and i feel gross. i have a couple of days off work coming up. i'm tired. thinking of starting a monopoly. everything is what it is.
Sunday improved as it continued, and then I started thinking about software design process and practice and how nice it would be to be able to be part of it.
tomorrow a swedish rectangle might arrive, which will be nice.
good night, have a good week, sorry about the weird dreams.